Someone at the gate signs for a delivery. That night, Sharon opens it. It was obviously messengered from next door -- which is really funny. They called someone and paid a company twenty bucks to pick something up and drive it next door. I guess it makes sense that if you live behind a gate, never even parking out on the street, you would literally never talk to your neighbors. Sharon opens it to find a note from someone who says she/he is "sort of" one of her annoying neighbors. We see a FLASHBACK of Sharon yelling at the bratty English kid and then Sharon throwing the ham over the fence, saying that this is a picture of his wife's cunt. Then Ozzy shuffles along carrying a log -- which sounds way dirtier than I intended. "Ozzy, not wood!" shouts Sharon, which also sounds dirtier than she intended. Ozzy throws the wood into a window and gets caught on a hammock trying to run (read: shuffle slowly) away.

The note says that the "dog artwork and dog necklace" were made by a friend, and this is sent as a peace offering. She goes on to say that she recently lost her dog to coyotes. Man, this neighbor is not only loud and has bratty kids, but she also has terrible taste. Sharon, meanwhile, thinks it's "so damn cute." She says that she has to go over there tomorrow. No she won't.

Backyard. Jack is grilling. Ozzy says it's like living between John McEnroe's lunatic brother and Peter, Paul, and Hitler. Okay, I get it. Who knew Ozzy would ever swoop in to clear anything up? The ham/singing/English neighbors are on one side, while the tennis people are on another. Ozzy yells for the tennis players to shut the fuck up, but he doesn't full-voice it. He bitches that they couldn't have built the tennis court any closer to Ozzy's backyard. I don't think they just built this, though, because the Osbournes have only been here for three years, and we wouldn't have learned about the construction during the show. Ozzy fantasizes about having his band rehearse in the yard. Jack asks if he should go get his drum kit. "If you want to," says Ozzy. "I think I will," says Jack. As one of the dogs plays happily with a tennis ball that's flown over the fence, Ozzy says that it's about time they had another family feud.

Jack has the drums set up and Ozzy says, "Go for it, son," with the same tone as when he was watching the dogs hump last week. A little creepy, that. Ozzy and Lola both watch Jack bang a gong. Wow. I never thought anyone could be a worse drummer than Kelly's friend Sarah, but lo and behold, I give you Jack Osbourne. Ozzy shuffles inside, yelling, "Sharon!" as if he'd suddenly realized his son is a shitty musician, and the realization hurts. Or he just got stung by a bee.