So now Kelly bails, and outside, Jack explains that Kelly "has this thing" about leaving when it comes time to go to The Standard, which is a hotel a few blocks from where I'm sitting right now. She tells Jack to "fuck off," he tells us, and then leaves. I don't understand if this is a recurring thing he's talking about, or just tonight. Jack goes on, pissed, to explain that Kelly was a big mall rat until he started inviting her to clubs, and now she tells him to fuck off and that's it.
House. Night. Kelly tells us that she heard Jack was running around "talking crazy shit" about her, and Jack now feels guilty and is in a bad mood. What a weird relationship. Jack goes through the house and finds Ozzy lying with his shirt off on the couch, and Jack swears a lot about Kelly, and Ozzy wonders what's going on. Jack talks about Kelly as Kelly then tells us that Jack always does this. Jack lists the bad stuff Kelly did, like ditching "Sara," and then he goes off again about how if it wasn't for him, Kelly would still be hanging at the mall with her "stupid friends." Ozzy stops him, putting his tattooed hand over his eyes. Ozzy says that he understands, but Jack has to understand where Ozzy is coming from. "I love you all. I love you more than life itself. But you're all fucking mad." Hee.
Fight montage. Random shots of Kelly and Jack doing sibling fighting. A cat and a dog fight as well. Ozzy yells at Jack, "Stop shouting at me." Man, Jack fights like a girl. Sharon tells us that the kids are still fighting and her husband still can't work the TV, but at least they're moved in. "We're home." Sharon and workers put a big devil head on the front door, and Sharon wonders what the neighbors will think when they see that. We get a fake shot of neighbors staring. The one false move in the entire show. I can live with it.
Next week. Animals! Ozzy says, "It's like fucking Doctor Doolittle's fucking house in here." I can't count how many dogs they have, but it seems like five to ten. Fighting. Fighting. Ozzy throws the bulldog off a chair, only to find that the dog has fucked up the cushion. "Maybe we have too many dogs," says Ozzy. Sharon asks if anyone fed the dogs. "No!" yells Kelly. Sharon finds that a dog has pissed on her new couch. Some lady, a blonde, comes over. Sharon introduces her to Ozzy as a dog therapist. "No, darling!" yells Ozzy. "You don't need a therapist, you just need to get up at seven and open the fucking door!" A dog pees on the rug.
Well. I can't wait.