The Osbournes
There Goes The Neighborhood

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Fight montage. Random shots of Kelly and Jack doing sibling fighting. A cat and a dog fight as well. Ozzy yells at Jack, "Stop shouting at me." Man, Jack fights like a girl. Sharon tells us that the kids are still fighting and her husband still can't work the TV, but at least they're moved in. "We're home." Sharon and workers put a big devil head on the front door, and Sharon wonders what the neighbors will think when they see that. We get a fake shot of neighbors staring. The one false move in the entire show. I can live with it.

Next week. Animals! Ozzy says, "It's like fucking Doctor Doolittle's fucking house in here." I can't count how many dogs they have, but it seems like five to ten. Fighting. Fighting. Ozzy throws the bulldog off a chair, only to find that the dog has fucked up the cushion. "Maybe we have too many dogs," says Ozzy. Sharon asks if anyone fed the dogs. "No!" yells Kelly. Sharon finds that a dog has pissed on her new couch. Some lady, a blonde, comes over. Sharon introduces her to Ozzy as a dog therapist. "No, darling!" yells Ozzy. "You don't need a therapist, you just need to get up at seven and open the fucking door!" A dog pees on the rug.

Well. I can't wait.

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The Osbournes

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