Shopping spree! Different day (judging by the outfits). Kelly looks for earrings. Checks out prices, as if it matters. Sharon tries something black on. Surprise. Shot of clothes and shoes! Calm down, MTV camera crew. Sharon, now in yet another weird outfit, holds a cross and tells us in her baby, cockney voice, "The Virgin Mary speaks to me. She says, 'You must go to Tiffany…and on the way, stop at Cartier.'" Eh. Jewelry. Dog purse and shoes. End of spree. Good.

At the house. The van is totally loaded with shit. Ozzy bitches, shuffling out to help carry his hard-earned money, now in the form of ugly shit from Beverly Hills boutiques, into the house. He mumbles as he grabs stuff. Sharon tells us conspiratorially that she and Kelly cover each other's asses and that Ozzy "shits" when he hears they're going out shopping. (Well, he should see a doctor about that.) Sharon is smiling as she says that Kelly doesn't miss a beat. Ozzy is bitching as Kelly lies to Daddy, "It's all stuff for your bathroom." Yeah, pearl shoes and dog purses for Ozzy's bathroom. Just what he needs.

Ozzy sits on the couch and asks where his other gold card is, and why he doesn't have it back yet. Sharon lies that it's in her bag and she hasn't had a chance to go out and buy anything, so Ozzy shouldn't worry. Eh, something's going on.

Kelly is running around the house as we see Ozzy, behind the mini Eiffel Tower, unaware; Sharon tells us that Kelly has lost Ozzy's card. She told Ozzy Sharon had it and Sharon covered, but she doesn't have it. Oops. Kelly runs around. A friend is with her, seriously lagging up the stairs. Now Ozzy yells at Sharon about a "stuffed bulldog!" and he goes to show her the toy. He makes the toy bulldog bark at Lola, who goes apeshit yet again. It's Ozzy's favorite new hobby. Thank god they didn't get rid of Lola or he'd be bored silly. Ozzy shows Sharon that it's not cardboard, it's leather…and Lola jumps in Sharon's lap trying to get at it. Sharon cackles.

Back upstairs, Kelly looks around her room, saying that she's dead if she doesn't find it. Sharon, outside, says that Kelly shouldn't have had it in the first place. More Kelly freaking out. Sharon tells us that "only in America" can you get away with using someone else's credit card. She laughs that Kelly is "shitting herself" right now. Ew. Different show. Kelly pours the contents of her purse out onto the driveway like Ally Sheedy saying that you never know when you might have to jam. Commercials.