Hotel room. Night. Ozzy and Sharon cuddle on the couch as an assistant dude stands by. Ozzy interrupts Sharon and Assistant and asks if Sharon is going back tomorrow. Her stupid cockney voice: "No. No I'm not, Daddy." Ozzy puts his hands over her mouth and asks the dude when they're playing Albuquerque. Assistant is silent and then laughs, unable to lie. Ozzy is hot on the case now, asking if they're doing two shows back to back. Sharon says, "No, don't be ridiculous." Uh-oh. Ozzy asks to see an itinerary, and the assistant dude stalls that he thinks his copy is on the bus. Ozzy now asks Sharon again, and she laughs, "Don't get technical, Daddy." Ozzy is freaking out that he's on the road and he wants an itinerary. Minnie starts trying to bite Ozzy as he fucks with Sharon. He asks again for an itinerary, and she closes her eyes -- "I don't know where one is, I'm not well" -- yes, in the voice again. Assistant laughs because that's what he's paid for. Finally the assistant ("Tim"?) says he'll go get one, and Ozzy has had enough and gets serious. Sharon finally admits that they have a show tomorrow (in Tuscon?) and then a show the next night in Albuquerque. Oops. Ozzy freaks out that she can't do that to him and that he's going to break his voice and he's fifty-two and she knew he couldn't do it before she booked the thing. Assistant Tim comes back with the itinerary, and Ozzy jabs that that was a quick run to the bus. Tim mutters that it's Sharon's itinerary. (How uninvolved in his own career is Ozzy that he hasn't even seen his own schedule the day before a tour starts?) Ozzy stands up and rails as Sharon and Tim exchange a sour look. Ozzy says that Sharon only cares about money and she knows he'll just do it. Now Ozzy sits again, and Sharon says that Ozzy has never done nine gigs in a row in his life, and he says she'll change that next. He says that it's "abuse" and that he won't fucking do it. All serious, he says that it's going to be "one on, one off. I ain't doing it."
The Osbournes
Episode Report Card
Stee: A
| 335 USERS: C+
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The Osbournes













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