In the car. Melinda points to a store and says that Jack can get her Christmas present there. He says he's going to give her a broken alarm clock so she doesn't get up in the morning. She loves it, the flirting. She lets him off at school and says she'll pick him up at three-fifteen. She pulls away and then justifies both Jack's rudeness and her ineptness, saying that Jack is tired and he lives a very busy lifestyle
Montage! Jack sleeps. Jack goes to the Roxy on a school night. Jack chills. Jack sleeps with Lola next to him. Roxy. Jack doing the robot in front of a green screen. (You wacky editing staff, you!) Roxy. Lola. Roxy. Sleeping. Roxy. Hanging. Chilling. Rainbow Room. Hanging with rockers. Laughing. Sleeping. Coming home at 4:20 AM. (Okay, so I know 4:20 is some drug or pot reference, but I don't care enough to look it up. I personally think the drug culture is silly and pot smokers are the silliest. Don't tell me about hemp clothing. I'm tired of hearing about it. I've done the smoke-pot-every-day thing and I'm over it. Keep your Phish and your 4:20 to yourself. Thanks!)
Night. Melinda talks on the phone to Ozzy and Sharon, who are still on the road. Melinda says that Jack came home at 4:20 and she was "vomiting with fear," thinking Jack was dead in the middle of Sunset. Melinda goes on that Jack is usually good (bull) and they usually get along well (crap), but now Jack got caught doing something wrong and he's pissed off that she told Sharon. No one likes a snitch. Ozzy, shirtless in running pants, tells Melinda that if Jack smokes a bong, she must tell him so that Ozzy can shove the bong up his butt. He goes on about them being the parents, but they're gone so it's up to Melinda's discretion and it's her responsibility. Melinda nervously says bye, hanging up. Her hair is all crazy and silly. Hee. Bad nanny.
Now Jack, still boiling those damn eggs, tells us that he's not getting along well with Melinda. Shot of Jack saying, "Fuck you, Melinda," over and over while she tries to eat cereal. Hee. He tells us that having a nanny is stupid and childish. He sprays air freshener at her and then leaves, while she yells after him that he has to be home at 9:30. Yeah, that's going to happen.
Outside the Roxy, Jack talks to his parents on the cell phone. Ozzy asks Jack why he can't do the right thing. He says, "It's a man that can apologize. It's a wimp that can't." Wow -- nice, Ozzy. Jack says that Melinda is a bitch and that he can't apologize with a straight face. Ozzy calls Jack "darling" and says that regardless, she was up all night worrying herself to death what had happened to Jack and it's not a big deal and he should just do it. Ozzy goes on that she's not going to climb up on the roof (I think he says of "Highland," which is a street where the new Oscar theatre is here) and announce that "Jack Osbourne has just apologized!" Jack blabs that he doesn't know how to say that he's sorry for emotionally hurting her, that he's not in for all that mushy shite. Ozzy is shaking while he's listening; Sharon picks her nails. Ozzy now gets tough and says he's paying lots of money for Jack's schooling and he can't come home at four o'clock; it's not good enough for Ozzy. Ozzy stutters, "It's not all fun and n-n-not no all, all games and fun and all that no-no-no work. You got to do a certain amount of work." (Lord, that's funny shit.) Sharon adds that Jack is pissed because he thinks Melinda was the one who told her about the pot, but so has everyone else. Ozzy jumps on this and tells Jack that they've known about his "dope situation" for a long time now. Ozzy says, "Don't you think I know what it means when you order a pizza at fucking twelve o'clock at night?" Hee.