Sharon's make-up room. Sharon and Kelly get made up. They talk about how Kelly is eighteen now and can fire Sharon -- joking, but sorta not, a little. Kelly starts talking about her tits and asking, if she took Johanna to a doctor, could she get the same tits as Johanna. She says she fucking hates her tits, that they're so fucking boring. "Get them done," says Sharon, ever the encouraging mom. I guess she got massive face work, so she can't say anything. (Of course, they have to be joking here. They just have to be. Right?) Kelly then wonders why she has to have Sharon's fucking tits, why couldn't she have had Aimee's tits? She goes on that Aimee has perfect tits. Sharon doesn't get offended or tell Kelly she's fine. She just agrees that Aimee does have perfect tits. Such honesty in this family. I love it. Kelly says Aimee has "Welcome to London" tits, while she has National Geographic tits. Hee. And, ew.
Office. So Tony, or whatever that Pete Townshend-looking manager guy's name is, brogues on about how Nevada gaming laws won't allow them to drink or use their fake IDs. Kelly lies that she has no fake ID. Girlie, we have it on tape. Just check my old recap. Anyway, the Venetian hotel sent a whole book of rules for them. Wow, if the Venetian sends the Osbournes a big book of rules, I wonder what they send to Snoop and crew when they come. It must be like War and Peace. Kelly lies that she's not really going to Vegas to party. Bitch Boy gives a take to the camera. Hee.
Kelly is on the phone telling a friend that she had to sign a contract that she can't drink. It's her birthday and they're not going to let her do anything. Poor Kelly. Such a restricted life she leads.
Jack packs, talking to some friend who's coming about how they can drink in the hotel room. The friend thought it was zero tolerance, and Jack says that security isn't going to be in his room with him. Though if the security was cute enough, Jack might invite him in.
Sharon tells Kelly that today is special -- not, as Kelly thinks, because she no longer has any control over her (yeah, right. "No longer"), but because she can remember every minute she almost died giving birth to her. They argue, Kelly saying she wanted to be all hippie and natural. Sharon says they almost had to give her a tracheotomy. Uh, isn't that the wrong passage to cut? What, did Sharon give birth through her mouth?