The Osbournes
What A Boy Wants

Episode Report Card
Stee: B+ | Grade It Now!

Kelly goes to Sharon's room to complain -- with Bad Nanny and Robert in tow -- and Jack sneaks in to listen. Kelly is saying that if the situation were reversed, she wouldn't even talk to the person. Sharon says that she wants Kelly to understand that it's hard for Jack, and she says that it's twenty million times "more hard" for her. Wow! That's really fucking hard. Sharon lays it out that Xtina asked Jack why Kelly hates her, and Kelly starts to say that didn't happen and Jack busts out from behind the curtain. Sharon yells, "I love that!" laughing. It's hard to tell when Sharon is taking the piss, or if she seriously got delight out of Jack's ingenious spying. Kelly calls him a douchebag once again and Jack is about to say what Xtina says. Kelly says that doesn't matter -- all that matters is that if the situation was reversed etc. etc. Kelly finally says that Jack doesn't care about her; all he cares about is getting his rocks off with a famous person. Ooh. Jack comes back that what he likes is being in a relaxed environment and chilling out and Kelly is so fucking high-strung all the time. Jack says he'll punch Kelly if she doesn't get out of his face. Sharon tries to say there will be no punching. Jack moves toward Kelly and she flinches. Jack laughs. Kelly thinks it's sad that she's terrified of her own brother. Bad Nanny is trying to get Kelly to go to rehearsal. Jack does it again and laughs, and Kelly wallops the shit out of him. Damn! Jack laughs, and Kelly does it again and again. Jack acts very girly here. He tries to be tough and make Kelly hit him again, and finally the others jump in and Sharon gets out of bed, her pants falling down, and yells for Kelly to "go to work!" Robert says he wishes he had been there last night. Jack jokingly hug his mom, saying, "Good morning!" Hee.

Sharon runs Jack a bath and sniffs him. Jack says that he's going on five days without a shower. Nice. I guess in this dirty Sunset club-rat trucker-hat-wearing crowd he runs with, the whole not-bathing thing is in vogue. Seriously, when you go out to clubs these days, everyone looks like someone from The Strokes. It's a bit disconcerting. Anyway, Jack says that Xtina said nice things about Kelly, and that if Xtina had dissed Kelly, he would have stood up to her. He danced with Xtina and thinks she has a nice personality and comes across "really cool." Jack adds that he doesn't understand why he has to hate someone he's never met -- that you should get to know a person first. Sharon says, "That's the way I am." Hm. Suddenly, Jack is making lots of sense. Sharon says that the "stupidness" between Jack and Kelly has got to stop. Jack, smiling, says that he got Xtina's number. "Shut up, Jack," says Sharon.

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The Osbournes




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