Staircase. Family photos of Jack and Kelly. Sharon talks to Kelly, asking why things can't be like they were. Kelly talks a lot of bullshit about how they have the same friends and go to the same places and they squabble sometimes, but there are things you just don't do. "Don't be angry with Jack," pleads Sharon. "You'll regret it." Kelly says something about how it's gone too far and her feelings are hurt. Sharon says it's "redundant" (wrong word) and that when they get older they're going to need each other and they're going to regret the time they've wasted. "Talk to Jack," Sharon tells Kelly. "Why?" says Kelly. And then immediately says, "Okay." Wow. Apart from letting her kids get away with murder, she's a really god mom.
Jack's room. Some weaselly dude is there as Jack is sending out an email about freaking with Xtina. Lola walks in. The weasel says he doesn't understand why Kelly would be mean about something that gives Jack so much joy. Jack says that Kelly's just trying to bring him down on his birthday. The weasel laughs that he sat down on Jack's beanbag chair just now and sent his dog flying. Indeed, there is a tiny little rat dog in a sweater. God. I hate this guy more and more during the twenty seconds I get to know him. Jack runs over and dives on the beanbag chair -- the dog flies up and barks. Hee. Lola watches. Jack does it again and again, and then does it really hard and the dog flies up and onto the floor. The weasel says, "Dude!" and runs to rescue his dog. Jack tells Lola, "We're going to Medieval Times!" Naw, see, that's just getting Lola's hopes up -- I don't think she gets to go.
Kitchen. Sharon asks Kelly to apologize to Jack. She does. He does too. They hug. Jack wants a proper hug. "I love you," says Kelly. See, isn't that nice? Too bad they're both dressed like hobos.
The music starts as we go to Medieval Times! Smoke! Music! Tons of people are there banging cups. Kelly tells the Serving Wench that she's a vegetarian. A rider jousts, doing target practice. Kelly flips off the bad guy, at whom everyone is supposed to boo, and yells "Fuck you!" Hats and drinking and eating. Jousting! Sword fighting! Yelling! Crap Drummer Sarah is there, yelling "Fuck you!" along with Kelly. Man, they make this look like fun.
The Roxy. In a booth, Sharon and crew sing "Happy Birthday" to Jack. The cake is blurred out, for some reason. Must be shaped like tits. Or Xtina with her legs spread.
House. Night. Jack shows someone the suit of armor Sharon bought for him for his birthday. It's from Medieval Times. Jack gets a "good-ass idea." No, I bet it won't be a good idea at all. Sharon! Jack puts on the helmet and grabs the sword. "Do you think you could fuck someone up with this?