The Osbournes

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Stee: A+ | 494 USERS: B-
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A Rich English Snot Is A Person In Your Neighborhood

Now Kelly says there is no reason for her to go, and Ozzy starts frowning and half-playing, "You haven't been messing?" He claims that she brought it up, and she squeals and goes into the kitchen. Ozzy follows her: "Why would she think you need a gynecologist?" Kelly explains that Aimee goes every month, and Ozzy still says that Aimee must have a reason to think Kelly should go. Kelly tries to explain, and Melinda says she goes to one, and Ozzy keeps asking if Kelly's been messing with boys, and she giggles and says no, and Ozzy wonders why she's smiling (she obviously has no experience, because she still giggles like she's ten when the subject of boys comes up), and she walks away. Ozzy says that he's her father, and then adds that no boys better be messing with Kelly or -- and he picks up a big cooking utensil -- they'll get "this" shoved up their ass. Ozzy won't let it go and says, "Listen, there's got to be something more to the story," and Kelly says she's had one urinary tract infection and then goes, about Aimee, "She's bored!" Ozzy still thinks there's more to the story, and Melinda pipes up that there's not. Ozzy says that he wouldn't book Son He Hates to see a "cock doctor." Melinda says there is nothing wrong with Kelly, and then Ozzy says that she has a smile on her face and what is she doing? Ozzy thinks she's pregnant and is freaking out, running around, thinking she's been playing Doctors and Nurses. He finally sits down, and Son He Hates asks if Ozzy had been laid by the time he was seventeen. "I was laid by the time I was fucking twelve!" Ozzy goes back at it and says that Melinda is only sticking up for Kelly because she's a woman. He says if it's not true, Kelly shouldn't let it bother her, then. Kelly then says, about Aimee, "Well, I'm going to book her for a fucking breath test then because her breath smells like shit all the time." Hee. She walks away. Ozzy sighs, tired and defeated. "Beam me up, Scotty." Heeeeee.

The Osbournes

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