The Osbournes
Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Episode Report Card
Stee: A+ | Grade It Now!
A Rich English Snot Is A Person In Your Neighborhood

Another night. Lots of people. A fire is going. Loud music. Ozzy grabs a huge hunk of firewood, and Sharon is alternately laughing and telling him to stop. He dodders closer and closer to the fence with the wood. "Ozzy, no no no no no." She brings a bowl of bread and fruit to throw, like some misguided Greek offering. "Ozzy, not wood!" she yells. (That's what she says when Ozzy takes Viagra and she falls asleep.) She tells him that he'll be picked up for manslaughter. Ozzy goes to the side and throws the wood. Crash! Ozzy dodders out of the bushes saying that it went through the window, all panicky like Rain Man when the fire alarm goes off. Watching him trying to get free of a rope near the bushes is hysterical. I think Ozzy may be drunk here. Cops arrive! Run, Ozzy, run! And…that's it.

Next time. Ozzy asks where his other gold card is. Kelly runs around looking for it as Sharon tells us that Kelly lost the credit card and blamed it in the meantime on her. Sharon says Kelly shouldn't have had it in the first place, and we see Kelly dumping her purse out and looking everywhere. (It'll probably turn up in some Lola alien shit in a couple days.) Also, Ozzy works out! Getting ready for his tour. Prime montage of Ozzy working out in shorts and a headband. A trainer stands by encouraging him, telling him that the arms look good. Now Ozzy is in a stadium doing a tech rehearsal. Sharon voice-overs that performing is what Ozzy lives for as Ozzy yells, "Bubbles?! Oh, c'mon, Sharon!" Bubbles indeed pour off the stage. "I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne! The prince of fucking darkness! Evil evil fucking evil! Not bubbles!" Awesome.

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The Osbournes




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