The Practice
Appeal And Denial

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Appeal And Denial

Lindsay purrs, "Previously on The Practice." Scott Wallace is convicted of murdering his wife. His three or four "anger" scenes are replayed. Richard "coaches" Kyle Barrett, Wallace's brother-in-law, who falsifies his testimony and plays a major role in Scott's conviction. Helen wants Bay to sign an affidavit about the false testimony; he refuses. She goes to the defense with her information, and they try to get the verdict overturned. Judge Wolfe doesn't think The Runt was acting out of order and refuses to grant a new trial. The Firm appeals.

Diane Venora, wearing strange Heidi braids pinned up and twisted around the back of her head, is sitting in Helen "Eyes of Steel" Gamble's office. They are discussing a plea bargain. Diane doesn't like the time served because it's only two years. The DA attempts to placate her: "If he gets convicted, the most he'd serve is probably three." Looking like a strange import from Star Trek, Diane Venora pulls her head back so she's talking from underneath her own chin: "But I could have died, Helen." The lawyer explains that that's why he's about to go on trial. Regardless of whether he did hurt her, he didn't intend to kill her; that's why the time served is less than expected. Helen insists that pleading this out would be best for everyone: "I know you, Margaret -- you don't want to go through this." Blah de blah his lawyers are "tough." Diane "Margaret" Venora turns her head to the side and presses her hand to her lips, fully exposing the serpentine hairstyle, and says, "Three years."

Whoosh. A tall, slim man is pacing around The Firm. He, like so many clients before him, refuses to cop to the charge. Rebecca attempts to explain the seriousness of the situation to him: "Look. This is your wife. Saying you pushed her down a flight of stairs." He didn't touch her. Or so he says. Jimmy "Leave It To Lumpy" Berluti explains that victims of domestic violence can look very sympathetic on the stand. The Husband is outraged: "She is not a victim!" Well, Helen Gamble will certainly make her look that way. Robert The Outraged Husband continues to pace around the room, wondering what would happen to his daughter if he pleaded guilty: Would he lose custody? Maybe or maybe not, but that depends on the outcome of this case. "No. I didn't do it. I didn't throw my wife down a flight of stairs. And I won't say that I did. Now I don't care what my odds are. No."

A gun is fired. A gavel pounds. A recapper cringes. Credits.

The Firm. Lucy "The Most Annoying Girl In The World" Hatcher walks around her desk, announcing she has something very important she needs to blurt out. "Attention. Attention. We're supposed to think this is funny now!" She starts to natter on about how, two months ago, she was having a dull day, so she rifled through the garbage cans in the ladies' room. Gross. With her eyebrow cocked to unruly heights, Lucy intones, "I found this pregnancy test thing, and it was positive." Eugene gets up and moves forward; Ellenor smiles oddly; Lindsay and Bobby imitate the cats that ate the canary. Anyway, to make a long, insipid speech short, the book What To Expect When You're Expecting was delivered to the office recently. Lucy walks over to Lindsay, citing a burgeoning "tummy" as her cause for suspecting that she's the one who's pregnant. Lindsay tries to deny it, but the Emperor Rod gloats, "Lindsay. We might as well tell them." There are hugs. There are lots of big smiles. The only one I care about is Eugene's; his smile can certainly light up a room. Blah dee blah how far along, blah dee blah four months, and the Lucy Quip is dispatched: "So who's the father?" The Lindsay Cut-Down follows: "You're funny today." The Ragdoll Eye-Roll is launched. But The Pregnancy Announcement is not half as painful as it could have been.

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The Practice

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