Tuesday brings hordes of Fake Reporters to Impress The Pain Upon Us. Bobby leads the group of lawyers coming off the elevator. Then Lindsay, Eugene, Ellenor, and Rebecca. Let the games begin. Yawn.
Inside the courtroom, Helen starts her opening speech. Lannibal sits beside Lindsay. He's wearing his muzzle. Helen faces the jury and says, "Anybody who would take the lives of three young women and then cannibalize them has got a little insanity going on." Blah explains difference between legal insanity, blah and just plain crazy blah. Did Hannibal know what he was doing is wrong? DEK has placed a faux Hunky D.A. at Helen's table just to annoy me. Don't worry. That sapsucker doesn't fool me. He's no Hunk Of Burnin' Law, that's for sure. Helen argues that the evidence will show Hannibal Lawrence tried to avoid getting caught, that he tried to conceal his crime -- because he knew it was wrong. Helen: "This man acted knowingly, reflectively and methodically." Pause. "He'd go to the same bar, pick a woman, hit on her, and then when rebuffed, he'd abduct her, stab her to death and then eat her."
Pause. It's Lindsay's turn for cross-examination, but I want to pause for a minute and tell a fun little story. Last night, when I went to hear my Lovey-Dovey play in his band, there was a Canadian superstar in the audience: Jill Hennessey! Her twin sister Jacqueline was there too -- they came to a tiny club on College Street in Toronto to listen to Radio Mondays, a little song-in-the-round show that a local musician puts on every week. Yes. The woman is just as beautiful in real life. Yes. We all wanted to scream out, "What the hell does Jordan cross, anyway?" And no, we didn't even talk to her, although I did ask her to get out of the damn hallway when I needed to use the can. In the end, she bought five CDs -- one for each of those boys who were performing, including my Lovey-Dovey's. Does this mean I can call her when I go to L.A. to visit a friend this summer?
Lindsay's opening. She doesn't think that anyone really and truly knows what's going on in Hannibal Lawrence's head. She says, "Filleting three women? This is not how sane people behave." Blah trial, blah wonder if he's human blah. She turns to the jury and continues, "You might look at me and the other lawyers defending him and say, 'How can we defend such a monster?'" Blah judicial system, blah protect society, blah especially their weakest, blah vulnerable members blah. Lindsay argues, "Laurence O'Malley is severely mentally ill. The evidence we present to you will establish this convincingly." Pause. Blah sympathy, blah victims, blah make the jury ignore the evidence, blah reasonable doubt, blah Hannibal, blah insane. As Lindsay sits down, O'Malley stares at her like she's a candy apple and he's a kid about to enter the annual summer fair.