The Practice
Eat And Run

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Tonight's special: human flesh

The Courtroom Where They Attempt The Castration Of Cannibal Pain. Mystery Detective X is on the stand for Team Put 'Em Away. Helen has just asked him a question, to which he responds, "We've had so many complaints about just how bad the house smelled, we finally sent an officer up there." Apparently, the officer took one step inside and realized the smell was from rotting bodies. According to our Mystery Detective, the police got a search warrant and then returned to the scene. There were three bodies in the basement, in "different stages of decomposition." Helen: "Was anybody else there, Detective?" Yes. The defendant. He kept apologizing over and over again. Helen: "Now. You said the bodies were in different stages?" Yes. One was basically skeletal. The other two were "carcasses." The detective swallows and says, "It was extremely gruesome." Did they find anything else? Of course they did. Yeah, they found a freezer. And what was in the freezer? Frozen meat. Of a special variety -- human meat, that is. Ew. After the freezer meat situation comes out, Eugene looks over and scowls at Lannibal the Cannibal. Helen moves on from the disgusting portion of the testimony to the police interrogation of Lannibal. Mystery Detective X explains that O'Malley explained each of the killings in detail, and according to the coroner, the descriptions were dead-on correct. Helen thanks the detective and sits her bony ass down.

Eugene for cross-examination. He asks slyly, "Did you ask my client his name?" He writes a note down on his legal pad. Yes. "What did he tell you?" The detective says that O'Malley told the cops he was Hannibal Lecter. Eugene continues, "He said he killed the women?" No. He claims he saw "the other man" do it. "The same other man for all three murders?" Yes. And he described "the other man" for the police too. At this moment, I am pleasantly surprised by the call of "Silencio! Silencio!" And the appearance of Sherilyn Fenn. What's wrong with the description? Well, basically, Lannibal described himself to the cops.

Helen has the bartender, Mark Williams, on the stand. She asks if he remembered Lannibal Hector. While O'Malley never talked to him, he sure did try to talk to women. Did he try to pick them up? Oh, yeah, but he "never had any success." Helen asks if Williams had ever seen O'Malley talk to one of the victims. Oh, by the way, the photos of the victims are spread across the back of the courtroom beside the witness chair. Each portrait is huge -- at least the size of half a door. Williams says, "I know I saw him talking to the first girl. And I remember the look on her face. It was like 'get this kook away from me.'" Helen looks pleased with herself.

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The Practice

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