Jimmy is now at bat for The Superheroes. He says, "He dresses like Superman. He calls his wife Lois. But you didn't think he might try to fly?" Exactly. My point. Jimmy can be on my squad of Superheroes. We'll call him Lump de la Lump. His specialty will be tossing lumpy mashed potatoes at bad guys. Along with me, SuperRecapper, we're scheduled to appear in the much-anticipated sequel to Mystery Men. Dr. Gorman responds, "What happened had nothing to do with his assumption of Superman's identity." Because finding a negotiable link between the actions of SuperBill and his "illness" would be asking way, way too much of this "doctor." He's lying when he says he's trying to fly? Blah on some level blah believes it, blah defense mechanism, blah Bill Muntz heard his wife wants a divorce, blah Bill Muntz threw himself out a window blah. Jimmy: "And you being the doctor, you must know exactly what reality he's in at any given moment." Blah he's a doctor, blah safe haven, blah wife destroyed all that blah. Jimmy moves to strike. The judge instructs the jury to do just that. The Superheroes move onto another line of questioning. "As director of the hospital, you treat patients and make staffing decisions." Correct. "Isn't it a fact that last year your hospital was bought by a parent company." Yes. Pause. Jimmy continues. Blah reduction of staff, blah thirty percent blah. Gorman says that the parent company wanted to "streamline their costs" and that the "reduction hasn't hurt anyone." Jimmy snaps, "Tell Ed Green that." Aldridge objects from The Doctors' bench. The Lump quickly withdraws his comment. He steps forward and continues with his interrogation. "There were no bars on the windows, were there, Doctor?" No. "Because bars cost money." Oh, Jimmy's on a roll, and the music is rolling along with him. Again, no, it's because they intimidate and frighten the patients. Oh, and having them fall out of windows doesn't? Dr. Gorman responds, "I told you, before that day he wasn't suicidal." Jimmy changes his offensive angle: "Did you ask Mrs. Muntz why she was there that day?" Gorman shifts in his seat and says no. "If you were so concerned about Mr. Muntz's fragile psyche, why didn't you ask her why she was there?" Blah he thought Mrs. Muntz cared about SuperBill's mental health, blah never occurred to him, blah she would behave recklessly blah. What. Ever. Like being honest with your husband about how you feel is reckless. Like it's any of the doctor's freaking business why she's there in the first place.
The Firm. A lovely granny-looking nanny is sitting, with Lucy of all people, on the couch in Rod's office. She's very well-pressed. Her hair is in a bun. She loves kids and has six of her own. She glances at Lucy, and then looks at Rod, who is sitting with a clipboard hanging from his left hand. The Granny-Nanny asks if they are planning on having any more children. Lucy stammers, "Oh, not, we're not --" But before she can finish, Rod asks dryly, "Ever been accused of misconduct with a child?" Granny-Nanny is stunned. No! "Ever been arrested?" No! The temperature is rising. Rod's cool as a cucumber. Lucy admonishes him. "Any problems with drugs or alcohol?" Granny-Nanny responds, "I'm sorry. The agency told me you were nice people." Rod sort of half-smiles, then makes up some cock-and-bull story about how he's new at "this." Before he hires someone to take care of his son, he has to be "sure about [him or her]." This seems to defuse the situation. Rod looks over his clipboard. He mentions that Granny-Nanny was only with two families. Well, she says, she was with each one for over ten years and never had a problem. Rod: "What about an AIDS test?" Lucy is aghast. Granny-Nanny is aghast. Then, Rod, a lawyer, someone who should be sensitive to, well, the rights of women in the workplace and all, asks, "Exactly how old are you?" So, that's the end of that. Granny-Nanny stands up and responds, "I'll tell you what. I am old enough to know that I don't need this!" Harrumph. "Good luck staying married to this pig!" When Lucy gives him the what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you stare, Rod looks back at her and says, "Huh." Lucy is still staring. Rod says, "What?" Because he truly doesn't have a clue. Not one. Not a single idea. So, if he doesn't know how to interview a nanny, you know, having conducted at this point in his career thousands of witness interviews, a task he is probably very comfortable with, what the hell kind of a parent is he anyway?