Helen's Office. A young woman with a ponytail is sitting in one of Helen's "guest" chairs, her hands in her lap. Kenny Walsh, "Chief Prosecutor," sits beside her. Helen sits under her bangs behind her desk. Patricia Hayden says, "I don't know how I'll react on the witness stand." Walsh cajoles, "You'll do just fine." Patricia shakes her shoulders up and then back down again. She takes a deep breath. "Mr. MacIntyre was like an uncle to me." Helen looks rather somber in an all-black ensemble. She says, "This man killed your father." Pause. "I don't want to sound flip, but that's not much of an uncle." Walsh looks stern. He's very good at looking stern. Perhaps Helen is auditioning to take over for Elvira later on, after her day's work here is done. Okay, why do they always put the palest person on the show in black? To accentuate their eerily paper-thin skin? To ensure that we see all their veins? To make every scene look like a funeral? Honestly. Patricia: "You said he was linked to organized crime. That he's killed someone before." Walsh confesses that he's tried to convict MacIntyre once before as well. Blah Walsh's personal interest, blah his case blah. Walsh reminds the young girl that the judge ruled MM's priors inadmissible. Therefore, Patricia has to be sure she never mentions them in court. Or everyone will turn to smoke. Honest. Helen comes around from behind her desk, saying, "Look." She sits her bony ass down on the corner and continues, "There's something else we should discuss." Patricia furrows her brow. Helen is beyond pale. She's freaking translucent. "One of our witnesses, the better of the two, just left town. Her mother is in critical condition after a car accident in Florida." I'm only going to say this once, and then I'm going to drop it, but the plastic surgeon who injected Helen's lips has left a large, obtrusive bump on the top one. So now, it looks like a tumour. She's got tumour lips. It's very unpleasant. Right. The show. So, blah if they can't get the other witness back, blah they'll depend on her, blah pressure blah. Oh, and the other witness, Charles Rossi -- yeah, he'll play a part too.
The Firm Where They Usurp Walsh's Pain. Only Rossi, at that instant, is sitting in Rod's office with the Lump and the Emperor himself. Huh. What's going on here? Bobby welcomes the prosecution's witness to his lair. Jimmy sits down and says, "It's been a long day so I'll get straight to it -- we've been trying to contact you for over two months, suddenly you call out of the blue and ask to see us right away." Pause. "What's going on?" Rossi looks like a lumberjack. He's big. Burly. He's wearing plaid. He could have been a character in Kesey's Sometimes A Great Notion. Rossi answers, "I've never been asked to be a witness in a trial so I didn't know what to do." Charlie shakes his head. Rod purses his lips in anticipation. Rossi continues, "The guy I fingered for the murder -- he didn't do it." Wow. This piques their interest. Jimmy is dumbfounded: "What do you mean he didn't do it?" Rossi repeats, "He's not the guy." Blah he picked him out of a bunch of photographs blah. Rod wonders how Rossi came to this delightful conclusion. Well, he saw a picture of MacIntyre in today's newspaper. Rossi: "The guy that night. He looked different." The Melody Of Mobster Motivation neatly punctuates his confession. Rod asks, "Did you tell the district attorney?" No. Rossi wasn't sure where to go. So, for some reason, he decided to tell the defense attorneys? Because they can get the charges kicked and everything? Not only has Rossi never been a witness before, he's obviously never watched television, seen a movie, or read a court case in his life. Come on -- you change your mind and then you tell the defense attorneys? Please. We call all see where this is going. Blah courtroom drama blah. Any. Way. Bobby wants to know if Charlie's going to change his mind again. Rossi responds, "Mr. Donnell, this guy MacIntyre didn't kill anyone, and I don't think someone should go to jail for something they didn't do." Unless of course they coerced the witness into saying they were guilty. Or something like that.
Bobby and Jimmy leave Rossi in Rod's office for a little legal huddle. Jimmy: "What do you want to do?" Rod: "I say we don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Jimmy: "How about getting a statement?" Rod: "Not on our client's life! We'd be obligated to tell the D.A." Blah MacIntyre's lucky day, blah break blah.