Okay, it’s the end of the world. There are two choices available to me to ensure that I survive the total and utter destruction of all humankind. My choices: I can have a lobotomy and be cryogenically frozen until someone finds me, or I can go underground with only the theme from The Practice to listen to for all eternity. I’m going to go with the lobotomy.
The Firm Where They Worry About Clients Causing Pain. Oh. My. Gosh. Rebecca is alive. She’s not still in her coma. She’s actually talking. She wants to know if Cahill actually threatened the witness. It’s the usual full-firm powwow where they discuss, at length, the troubles with their cases. Usually it’s DEK’s excuse to prove to the rest of the viewing audience that Rebecca is still a character on this damn show. Ellenor thinks Cahill kind of did threaten the witness. Eugene wants to know what she means by "kind of threatened the witness." Ellenor repeats that Jackie said they didn’t need to worry about the witness, and she didn’t think he was talking about Bobby’s cross-examination skills. Mrs. Rod thinks they need to tell Bay. Ragdoll wonders how much it costs the two of them to leave their kids in daycare, and -- what, neither of these women breastfeeds? Moving on. Jimmy hopes Jackie means that the witness is a friend, or that he’s got proof the witness is lying. Lindsay snaps, “Yeah, right.” Eugene turns to Bobby and asks, “What did you say?” Rod says he “laid it out.” Eugene decides for the two of them by stating that they shouldn’t say anything. Leaving aside what Jackie the Jackass meant, the conversation is protected by attorney-client privilege, and if they aren’t sure, they can’t reveal what he said, crime impending or no crime impending. Lindsay, in that tone -- you know, the one all dripping with “I know what’s best” and “I’m the biggest bitch” and “I’m the wicked witch” -- slams her fingers with alarming force upon the table and exclaims, “We don’t need this.” Pause. Hair flipping. Pause. She looks over to her husband: “You were just on trial for conspiring with a client. If you don’t say anything and a witness ends up dead you could end up facing obstruction charges.” Rebecca -- and yes, they let her talk in this episode -- says, “If there’s any chance this witness is in danger you have to say something.” For the final word, Rod turns to the Lump, Knight Hopelessly Devoted To The Emperor, who says that the two of them were the only two in the room. Wow. He’s sure got some powerful observation skills. Not. Ellenor wants to lay down the law with Jackie again and then decide whether or not to say something. Bobby sighs his agreement, and then tops off his sigh with a little air punch for luck.