The Practice
Pro Se

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In Rod They Bash

The Witness Stand Where They All Recount Their Pain. A prison guard is testifying to the events. When they rolled the cell doors open for the first count, they discovered that McMurphy came out and Bowman didn't. Alan asks, "What did you do?" Prison Guard X checked the cell. They discovered Bowman with the shiv still sticking out of his chest. And if that weren't conclusive enough, Ray had blood all over his jumper. Alan: "Could you tell if there'd been a fight in the cell?" Ellenor whisper-advises, "Object to that, insufficient foundation." Ray bounces up. It's quite cute, actually. He bounds out of his chair like the hare on the first day of the race with the tortoise. Then he says, "Object. Something. Foundation." The judge sustains the objection. Alan asks if anything was broken or if there were things strewn around. Prison Guard X responds by saying that it did not look like a fight had taken place. Ray turns to Ellenor: "He got to say it anyway." Ellenor tries to be encouraging: "Good witnesses know how." Before Ray gets up to do his cross, Ellenor warns, "Be careful."

Ray walks over to Prison Guard X and greets him with, "Saunders." Prison Guard X says, "McMurphy." I'm waiting for them to take ten paces and draw. Ray says, "First thing you did was take me to the deputy warden's office where I told you I had to kill him." Thankfully, Hunky objects; apparently, this too lacks foundation. Blah not the witness blah. Then Ray says, "You hate my guts, right." To which Prison Guard X replies, "I hate killers, yes." Causing Ellenor to jump up and object. The judge tells Ellenor to sit down. Then he nods at Ray to continue. Ray stays with this line of "questioning": "You hated me because I wouldn't kiss your ass." Prison Guard X's answer is even better: "You're a killer and a liar." The judge steps in and tells the jury to disregard this entire conversation. Then Ray gives up on the witness. Ellenor shakes her head. Alan gets up again: "Did you ever suspect anyone other than the defendant of this murder?" No. Ellenor tries to get Ray to object again, but he wants to hear the answer. "Why didn't you suspect anyone else?" Well, it's a two-man cell, so it couldn't have been anyone else. Plus, Prison Guard X adds, McMurphy hated Bowman and everyone knew it. Ray jumps up, "That's a lie!" The judge orders them to sit down. Ellenor yells, "Your Honour!" Ray continues, "Other people hated Bowman." Prison Guard X insists that Mr. McMurphy hated Bowman the most, and he didn't know why. The Melody Of Misbegotten Intentions rallies as Ray sits down and looks like the world just landed on his shoulders. Ellenor, always one to add insult to injury, whisper-insults him: "Nice job, Ray."

Client Room Where All Kinds Of Pain Are Discussed. Ray and Ellenor are screaming at each other. He'd like her to support him. She thinks she's doing just that. She is trying to help by telling him to object. Ray: "So. How'd that go?" Ellenor: "Terrible. In addition to time and opportunity, he testified that you didn't like the victim." But there is a silver lining; Ray did manage to establish the fact that Prison Guard X hates him. Ellenor advises that Ray keep that in mind and then argue the bias when it comes to his closing. Then she tells Ray to make sure he objects when the warden testifies. Blah hearsay blah. Apparently, the warden's testimony is going to "kill him." Poor Ray; do you think he's in over his head just yet?

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The Practice

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