The Practice
The Return of Joey Heric

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Hookers, Narcissistic Disorders, and Murderers

Joey gets up for his cross-examination and snaps, "Now. I wish we hadn't withdrawn our objection if I'd known you were going to say that." The judge admonishes him. Joey asks a question: "So, your wife told you the things she'd been discussing with her therapist?" This is a rhetorical question. We already know the answer. The bunny pops out again. Reminding me that this is a set-up, and to be wary. I yawn. I pet the bunny. I know it's a set-up. I felt the anvil when it hit the roof of my building. Joey continues, "Had she engaged in any other affairs?" Not to his knowledge. "Had she talked to you about being unusually attracted to a younger man?" Pause. "An attraction that both she and her therapist considered unhealthy?" Mr. Holmstead doesn't say anything. The poor man just sits there looking really confused and upset. Joey prods him. "Did she tell you she'd been sexually attracted to another man? A younger man?" Mr. Holmstead finally answers yes. "A man that she once even kissed?" Yes. Is he in the courtroom? Yes. "Could you identify him for the court?" Mr. Holmstead announces, "My son. Her stepson." Ew. Mrs. Holmstead was a very confused woman. The gallery erupts. The D.A. looks befuddled. He didn't quite expect that. The stepson looks down at his feet. He feels the shame. Mr. Holmstead feels the shame. Joey doesn't feel ashamed. Nay, he feels entertained: "Well, isn't this exciting!" Old D.A. X objects. Joey withdraws his flip comment and continues his questioning: "For how many hours were you home alone before notifying the police that your wife was missing?" Mr. Holmstead stutters. He doesn't know. Perhaps five hours. Joey steps forward and asks, "Forgive me, sir, but I have to ask a question that's on everybody's mind. Did you kill your wife?" Objection! Overruled. Joey: "Obviously it wasn't over like she said between her and my client. They found his sperm." Blah lied to him, blah affair; blah smooches the son, blah lying about it all, blah not really afraid of her lover, and blah. Joey repeats the question: "Did you kill your wife." Mr. Holmstead says, "No. I did not." Joey responds, "I don't believe you!" Old D.A. X jumps out of his chair and objects. Again, Judge Wilcox admonishes the "lawyer." Joey throws in the towel and goes to sit down. Rod is totally shaking his head. What a farce! That's what the Emperor is thinking: What a freaking farce.

The Firm. Ellenor complains, "He doesn't need us, Bobby." Pause. "He's not even letting us in on all of his cards. We're simply sitting in the courtroom as spectators to be impressed." Blah narcissistic disorder, blah see his achievements, blah enjoy them blah. Rod says flatly, "Well, we can't get out now, Ellenor." There is a ratta-tat-tat on the door. Joey bursts in without waiting for a "come in." Ellenor snaps, "We were just talking about you, Joey. Nice little bombshell!" He replies, "Wasn't it, though?" Ellenor: "Why didn't you tell us about it?" Blah ruin the surprise blah. Joey continues, "Now, the question becomes, do I let Daniel testify? Things are going so well." Rod asks if the kid has any skeletons. Not that Joey is aware of. Damn, there goes that bunny again. Freaking bunny. Shut up already. I know it's a set-up. Any. Way. Ellenor thinks the kid has to testify. He has to explain the semen. Rod adds, "And the blood in his car." Joey sits on the arm of Rod's couch and argues, "I could rest now and argue they didn't make their burden." Why does this all sound like a law school exercise? Poor Daniel. He's totally put his life in the hands of the wrong man. Rod snaps, "Joey." Pause. "Things aren't going that well. You need to put him up there."

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The Practice

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