Courtroom Of Rodney's Attempts To Maneuver Out From Under His Pain. It's odd how the judge really plays no part in this story. We almost always hear from the judges. Yeah, so Rodney rambles on about how he doesn't deny knowing the victim. Hell, he even introduced her to his parents and to Pugsley. Yawn. Rebecca says, "You introduced her to your family?" Well, he admits that he would have introduced her, if he actually had a family. He turns to the jury, "Orphan at nine." Ah, Little Orphan Pugsley. No wonder he's a mess. Double yawn. How did he meet Nancy Connell? Well, he was driving home and it was late. He saw "this man" assaulting her, and he got out to help her. Rodney is very rambunctious. Apparently, he did a "body block" and knocked the assailant over. The guy promptly took off. Well, despite the fact that Nancy was bleeding a little from the head, Rodney says she was "okay." So, the two of them headed back to his place. That's right. He's turned an assault into a shallow tale a couple of meatheads would talk about in a television locker room. Triple yawn. When Rodney woke up the next day, Nancy was gone. Rebecca clenches her hands together, looks at the jury, and doesn't say anything.
Helen gets up for her cross-examination. She doesn't buy the fact that Rodney just "came across" Nancy at the side of the road and saved her. Helen: "And you also saved the hammer?" Rodney says, "I threw it in the trunk, yeah." He didn't call the police? Nancy didn't want him to call the police. Why? Did she know him? Rodney shrugs, "She didn't say." Helen counters, "Well, surely you discussed this other man?" Rodney responds, "I don't think we did." Helen can't believe that after witnessing the assault, the only thing Rodney was concerned with was taking Nancy back to his place. Yes. You know what Rodney's going to say, and he doesn't disappoint us: "To be honest, the only thing I was concerned with was introducing her to Pugsley." Helen doesn't even blink: "Who's Pugsley?" Rodney says, "My penis." The jury twitters. Anvil gets restless. I send some chocolate under the couch. She loves chocolate. Helen asks if Rodney had sexual relations with Nancy Connell. He grins and replies, "Yes." And the next morning? He throws his hands up in the air. "Gone. It's happened to me before." Helen asks if his one-night stands always steal his car. No. Why didn't he report his car stolen? Rodney says it's because the car had drugs in it and he didn't want to get arrested. Helen says incredulously, "Your car had drugs in it?" He answers politely, "Yes ma'am." Helen reports that the police didn't find any drugs. They found evidence of Nancy Connell's assault, though. Rodney turns to the jury: "Well, the police probably stole the drugs. They do that, and the blood must've come from the hammer." What a great explanation. He's a genius, that Rodney. Pugsley must be a very inspiring member of his tribe. Yawn. Helen just stands there looking at the witness. It was quite a performance.