Blazed and Confused: Top 10 Moments of Inferno 3
As the narrator blathers on about previously unseen footage and top-ten moments, the screen fills up with unnecessarily complicated and portentous fire graphics, and it becomes clear that this isn't a reunion in the traditional Bunim/Murray sense; it's more of a…recap, actually. The Challengians (and by the way, only the final 12 are on this show) aren't all in the same room; it's just auxiliary interviews recorded post-competition. But in a way, that's preferable, because sometimes at the in-person reunions, they don't feel as free to talk shit. And believe me when I tell you, that sort of diplomacy isn't really a problem during this half hour of television. Susie.
Moment #10 is fight night with CT. We see footage of CT flexing on the camera. Ace says CT was drinking "dark whisky" prior to the wrestle-ticuffs, so he knew CT was probably going to act up. Janelle observes in WTF tones that it all sort of came out of nowhere. Really, Janelle? This is an unpredictable solution to the "CT + booze" equation? We see CT and Kenny rolling around on the deck as Kenny says he handed CT's ass to him. Heh. Janelle says that, during the scuffle, Kenny accidentally bloodied CT's nose, which really set CT off. Johnny Bananas interviews that it was like Dad coming home and hitting Mom, Mom hits the kid, the kid kicks the dog…and Davis was the dog. I don't like or dislike Davis particularly but the guy must be really tired of that unwittingly dismissive attitude from everyone. If you aren't sure what the phrase "the soft bigotry of lowered expectations" means, Bananas just showed you, basically. Tonya talks about how CT ran into her room and pretended to be asleep, but winked at her all co-conspirator, and she wasn't having it. She busts on him for losing out on an opportunity to make money as we see him bundled into the production getaway car.
Moment #9: The shy and retiring gentlemen of the Good Guys team refuse to wear the man-kinis provided for the grape-crushing game. Kenny sarcastically asks if Alton, Ace, and Timmy are "too sophisticated to put on Speedos? Are you kidding me?" Exactly, my fratty friend. And they were modest Speedos, too -- practically boy shorts. Bunch of babies. The hypocrisy here has been discussed extensively -- Ace getting cheeky during Gauntlet 2, Alton parading around in the altogether during his Real World season, Timmy peeing on the ground -- and we see the flashback footage that makes liars out of them so I won't belabor the point. But when we get to Moment #2, remember this sequence. Kenny adds that "there's not an ounce of class in any of" the three. Tonya seconds the "give me a fuckin' break" motion. Ace talks about how he'd get beaten up for wearing a Speedo. By whom -- Susie? Hiyo! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Then it's time once again to talk about how gigantic Alton's penis is. I'll pass, thanks.