Maybe you thought that was enough of Paula, Evan, and Dunbar. Maybe you're thinking: hot lesbian sex? It's happening in the other room probably? Can we cover that? Well, no. Because WE NEED TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS. And so we cut AGAIN to Paula and Dunbar. Paula AGAIN is lying in her bunk for this scintillating conversation that will go like this:
P: Nanny nanny boo boo.
D: STOMP PUNCH WRITE IN MY JOURNAL.
Paula finally says that she's sorry to Dunbar, who interviews that he just lit a fire under her ass.
Morning. Aneesa is giving MJ cornrows. MJ interviews that he's going to be the scary quiet guy. B-rad comes in and starts an "Om." He, MJ, and Evan sit in a circle holding hands and humming, Aneesa joining in in a higher key. Somewhere a monk cries.
Duel time! Teej punches in for the day. The boys are going first. And, I don't know if it's because it's midnight or what, but when Teej has to pull back a little velour curtain to show whatever electronic junk is the prize for today's competition, I have to laugh for ten minutes. Can you imagine? Having to even make that little motion, pinching your index finger and thumb and daintily grasping that curtain? Oh, Teej. To top it off, after his extremely wordy recap of how to play the game, Teej just kind of mutters, "Aright. You've seen this three times already. So you know how it works."
WHY, AMERICA, WHY?
Evan is excited, because this is the first "big kid match." We barely have time to roll our eyes before we cut to commercials.
MJ and Dunbar are going at it. It's close, so close that they have to bring in the "Carmina Burana" choral arrangement in the background, and then MJ interviews that he's fading until he hears Mark yell from the sidelines, "Do it for Bella!" Which is MJ's daughter. How mortifying for her. MJ digs deep and wins, his win signaled by Dunbar getting bopped on the head with a tiny blue ball, which is even more mortifying than poor Bella feeling like she has anything to do with any of this. And because we haven't cringed enough, Tori comes on the screen to teach us all a lesson: "MJ is doing this for a bigger cause. He has a wife and kids." Why do these people all have such strange refugee "women and children" mentalities?