Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Highs and Los

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Highs and Los

The first match is announced, and the pair is Heather B. and Piggy. Heather spins the wheel, and the two ladies will have to face one another. Heather tells us she's going for a "straight pin. Nothing fancy. Stick and move." What does "stick and move" mean? Maybe it's a wrestling term. I'm not going to question Heather B. Piggy tells us she is going to "beat [Heather's] ass and then go smoke one outside." Boy, Piggy is really skinny! Unlike Amaya and Veronica, she wears clothes that actually cover her body, and I had no idea how skinny she is! She doesn't stand a chance. They start wrestling. In case we couldn't tell, Yes informs us that "Piggy is getting her butt whupped" and she's getting "eaten alive out there." Heather finally picks Piggy up and dumps her on the mat, then pins her. Both women get hugs from their teammates after the match. Piggy is disappointed that she lost. The score is: RW 2, RR 0.

The second match features Mike and Dan. Dan spins the wheel and the mini-wrestlers are really fired up because they want to wrestle. Unfortunately for them, Dan gets the female model wrestlers. Dan goes first, saying that he's going to be aggressive, and not go easy on them because they're women. He gets the pin, and the score is RW 2, RR 2. Mike is up next, and gets the pin quickly. Piggy says she can't believe how the guys are "manhandling those chicks" and "not cutting them any slack." Hey, I don't blame them. All's fair in love and wrestling. Now the score is RW 4, RR 2.

The third match involves Amaya and Veronica. Veronica spins the wheel and gets the mini-wrestlers. Kat tells Amaya that she can do it and Amaya yells "Noooooo!" Meanwhile, Veronica is trash-talking one of the wrestlers. Veronica's match is first, and she tells us she is intimidated by her opponent. She says, "It's the whole proportion thing. I've only been with men that are bigger than me." Okay, I hate her. I liked her for a minute when she was trash-talking, but now she's bugging me. Veronica asks Verne Troyer for pointers and he tells her to stay low. The match begins, and she immediately ignores his advice, standing straight up, and gets pinned really quickly. Yes is disappointed in her, but Veronica claims she lost because her opponent's armpit was in her mouth. See, she's allergic to sweat, as we learned earlier. Amaya is up next. She tells us that she feels like she is on a "bad Jerry Springer episode", as if there are good Jerry Springer episodes. She also has a "deep-seated fear that [she's] going to get beat by a midget [sic], and that's so not cool." Numerous people have pointed out that these wrestlers are in fact dwarves, not midgets, but did you really expect Amaya to know or care about the difference? She's an idiot. Anyway, while she is delivering this riveting monologue, her opponent sneaks up behind her and fake cries into the camera, making fun of her for whining so much. Ha! Gimme five, dude. Amaya gives him a look that says, "I am so superior to you." You know that's what she was thinking. They get into the ring, and Amaya immediately starts prancing around the ring, flapping her hands and generally making a fool of herself. Apparently, if she avoids a pin for a certain amount of time, it will be a draw and her team gets one point. I'm not saying it's a bad strategy, but she didn't have to run like that. Especially since she clearly isn't wearing a sports bra with a white T-shirt. Veronica complains that it's not far that Amaya "runs around like a little fairy so she can get a draw". The joke is on Amaya when her opponent catches her and picks her up, then throws her down and pins her. The score is still RW 4, RR 2.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge




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