Out on the beach. TJ takes a break from smoking that huge spliff to announce to the Rookies that they're getting a replacement for the departed Tyree. "It's MJ," he announces. Everyone claps and squees. Who the fuck is MJ? Oh, he's from Real World Philadelphia. He interviews that he has a five-and-a-half-month-old baby girl and so had to leave his family behind to come there. Dude, what was Landon doing? Couldn't he take this bullet for you? The Rookies are psyched to have MJ because he's huge; the Vets are worried that they have him because he's huge.
Commercials. TJ announces the challenge, titled "Push It." Basically there's a car for each team, and twelve wooden planks that they need to move around to create a road on which to push the car. It's a girls' Gauntlet. Evan needs some rule clarification from TJ, asking whether it's against the rules for the tires to hit the sand, and TJ says it is not.
The teams huddle up to strategize. The Vets have figured out that they don't need to have half of the team making the stupid plank road and can probably just have everyone pushing the car. But instead of deciding to do that in the first place, they come up with this complicated plan to do the plank road thing until they start losing and then call an "audible" -- "Sandbox!" -- that means they just all start pushing.
The Rookie strategy is, as Melinda interviews, "to go all balls-out, all balls to the wall." Ew. How many balls are there? ["In her boyfriend's case, they've shrunken to the size of cranberries anyway." -- Sars] The challenge starts. MJ is about to give himself a hernia pushing this stupid car. Casey interviews -- at extreme length and with excessive facial motion -- that the Rookies are beating the Vets at first, which is ridiculous because they have four fewer people. The Vets get stuck in the sand until they all start yelling "Sandbox" and then -- in a hilarious visual -- their sad little army in red swarms the car and they just motor through the finish line.
Rachel interviews that the Vets are thinking "unconventional" and that's why they're winning. Derek and his wonky eye basically say the same thing. The Vets celebrate. That is, until we find Melinda sitting down rubbing her head. Slo-mo replay of her getting completely whacked in the head with a wooden plank. Danny comes running over while one of those skinny brunette Rookies (I can't tell them apart still: Jillian? Tori? Who knows) interviews that she's really worried about Melinda's health. She shows this concern by remaining seated and ordering other people to take a look at her. Next shot we see is Melinda with what appears to be a pillowcase of ice bunched on her head -- which, I know it's worrisome, the possible head wound and all, but that shot of her with all those nimrods shoving ten pounds of ice on her head is fucking making me cry with laughter. Danny picks her up and carries her to the ambulance.