Hello. My name is Drunken Bee and I am a Real World Road Rules Challenge addict. My husband and I watch (and dissect) every Challenge like it's a new Philip Roth novel. I mean, don't you agree that it addresses some of our most common human quandaries? Like when you pile into a rented van with your friends, and one of them gives you an atomic wedgie, and you go apeshit, and end up under the front wheel after a drunken fist fight. In fact, the show is woven so deeply into the fabric of our lives, that when one of us is accusing the other of being drunk(er), the matter is settled thusly: the accuser requests that the accused pronounce the words "real," "world," "road," "rules," and "challenge." In that order. Next time you are tipsy, try it. It is impossible to do without your tongue feeling like a hippopotamus just took up residence in your mouth.
Okay, that's enough of that. So, previously: Pour some out for Johnny Bananas. I don't know when it happened, but apparently I liked the guy (?) so I was sad to see him go last week. Also, something about open heart surgery.
We open on clue delivery. Rachel reads it. Everyone else "woo"s. Rachel interviews about how the Rookies are sad to be down yet another boy (last week, Tyree). Cut outside, where three girls sit around in sports bras and little shorts talking strategy. It is really hard to even figure out who they are (they're all equally shiny). They seem to be conspiring and scheming, though, about what girl(s) to vote into the Gauntlet next.
Morning. Ev and Diem sit around being lame. Diem is so much less hot now that she's grown her hair out. Diem interviews that she's been thinking it wouldn't be that big of a deal if the Vets lost the next challenge. Ev agrees, saying that if they get to slough some dead skin off the team, it just means more money for them in the end.
Frank and Adam are engaged in some low-energy, clearly hungover strategizing. Frank points out there's an Austin alliance -- Rachel, Johanna, Melinda, Danny, and Nehemiah -- that they need to watch out for. Except for the only reason he wants to watch out for it is because he thinks their alliance will vote Jillian into the Gauntlet. Frank says he'll throw a shit fit. Adam tells Frank that the Rookies need Jillian in the end, and then interviews what he's really thinking: that the Vets need to vote her off so she's not there in the end.
Out on the beach. TJ takes a break from smoking that huge spliff to announce to the Rookies that they're getting a replacement for the departed Tyree. "It's MJ," he announces. Everyone claps and squees. Who the fuck is MJ? Oh, he's from Real World Philadelphia. He interviews that he has a five-and-a-half-month-old baby girl and so had to leave his family behind to come there. Dude, what was Landon doing? Couldn't he take this bullet for you? The Rookies are psyched to have MJ because he's huge; the Vets are worried that they have him because he's huge.