Previously on the Challenge: The teams learned how to survive on a submarine while it was flooding. An extremely large gush of water hit Dan in the face. The Road Rules team suffered an extreme meltdown. Kameelah was extremely pleased when her team won.
So, we know from last week's previews that this is the cheerleading competition. And I know that this was filmed before Bring It On came out, but how genius would it have been if they had spoofed the opening cheer sequence at the beginning of the episode? Think about it -- Julie and Rebecca as Courtney and Whitney, Michelle as Darcy, Susie as Kasey, Ayanna as Carver (since Carver was only there for the beginning and the very end), Emily as Torrance, and Dan is Still. Big. Red. And then Kameelah could be Isis -- not because of her race, but because she is so kick-ass. I think she's the only one who could pull off the raised eyebrow. Ah, what could have been. Anyway, they don't do that at all.
This week, there is no pre-clue drama. Could it be that this episode will actually be about (gasp!) the mission? Instead of being about some manufactured drama concocted in an editing bay after the B/M interns had a few too many Mountain Dews? Time will tell. Kameelah yells out that they have a clue. The speaker on the clue CD is Teck from Hawaii. Must be they ran out of actual former cast mates of the people on the Challenge, and Teck was just sitting around the MTV offices one day, so they roped him into it. Anyway, he asks them what Egyptians and football teams have in common. Oh, that's easy! They both worship cats! Right? I guess they'll be cat herding this week. Oh, actually Teck says that they both believe in "pyramid power." But football teams don't make pyramids! Right? That makes no -- oh wait, it's Teck. Sorry. My bad. Teck goes on to advise the teams to "lay off the banana splits," and tells the Real World team that they'll win if Michelle's talents don't kick in. Susie makes a muscle and Michelle shakes her head. Fill in your own snarky comment about where Michelle's talents really lie.
Kameelah expositions, "Oh my God, so we're cheerleading tomorrow!" The producers slip her a twenty. Emily has nearly disappeared under the table; she's sitting so low in her seat. She could not look any less enthused if she tried. In an interview, Michelle explains that she did some "NCA cheerleading" in high school, but she also did "some dancing with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders" for two years. Michelle rolls her eyes. We see the scary publicity photo of Michelle with lots and lots of curly hair in her cheerleader outfit. It's true that there's a world of difference between what cheerleaders for professional sports teams do (sexy dances during time-outs) and what NCA cheerleaders do (stunts and stuff). Kameelah earns fifty more bucks from the producers by managing to work the words "Nokia" and "Nike" into the same sentence. Emily is lying down now. You can only see her right eye and her hand above the edge of the table. Dan asks Susie if she's "ever cheerleaded before." Should that be "cheerled"? What is the past tense of "cheerlead"? Cheered? I don't know. Anyway, Susie informs Dan that she won the "Super Spirit Award" in eighth grade. In an interview, Susie says that they feel that "the cheerleading mission is almost in the bag." Well, yeah, when you've got a ringer. Dan tells Kameelah that he has to figure out how to beat a "Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and Miss Super Spirit Award, Eighth Grade." I love how they put Susie's lame-ass award on the same level as Michelle's professional experience.