The RR team gets to go first. Michelle voice-overs that their theme is "The Seventies" (thanks for sharing -- again) and that their strategy is to do "the whole Saturday Night Fever dance moves, wear the Elvis wig, sunglasses, big hats." That's a strategy? Okay. The crowd chants "Road Rules" some more, and Dan sits on a bench and pouts. The RR team starts their cheer, and it goes as follows:
ALL:Road Rules is number one and don't you forget it.
Road Rules is all about hitting the streets, no fear, no doubt.
Real World life ain't so plush, half are whiners and half are lush.
BOYS:Kameelah, where's your "Phantom Pooper"?
GIRLS:Julie, suck it up and be a trooper.
BOYS:Rebecca, you're caught in between.
GIRLS:Dan, you know, that drama queen.
BOYS:Syrus, living in a teenage dream.
GIRLS:Jamie hits on our whole team.
ALL:: Vote for the rugged, vote for the raw
We're here to kick ass and that is all! Road Rules!
Well, it ain't Shakespeare, but it got the job done. Note that it was accompanied by lots of random claps (not on the beat), finger pointing, and more finger pointing. Anyway, the judges give them twenty points for their theme and twenty-five points for their "team chant," meaning that they get a total of forty-five points.
Now the RW team is up. Rebecca reminds us that their theme is "Big Pimpin'," and claims that they are going to act like "rock stars," because they are wearing "flashy fishnet tights, wraparound boas, and sunglasses." Are there boas that don't wrap around? Isn't wrapping around pretty much all that boas can do? Just asking. Their cheer goes like this:
Darn right! We're famous! Road Rules, kiss our anus.
You're thirty grand in the can and understand that you can't win.
You smell up our bus, you start up a fuss.
The fans are for us, and you can't win.
Been on the road before, but now look at the score.
Real World wants it more, and you can't win.
'Cause we're big pimpin'!
Wow. That sucked. The "highlights" -- when they said "anus," the girls flipped up their skirts to reveal fake plastic asses. We didn't get to hear the whole cheer, because in the middle, Rebecca did a voice-over that said they weren't doing well, and that they had no energy. At one point, Syrrhosis was totally watching Dan to try to figure out what he was supposed to be doing, and about halfway through, everyone forgot the words except Dan. Cut to James telling Christian, "They didn't have it all down." I never thought I would say this, but James? Word. The scores are in -- the RW team gets screwed by the Russian judge, and ends up with a twenty for their theme. They get an eight, an eight, and a four. That's twenty, right? Except that the screen says that they got twenty-one points. Whatever. Maybe they were showing the "chant" score, which was a twenty. Their total is now forty-one, so they're behind by four points. In an interview, Dan says, "We just aren't competing and it makes me mad. This entire mission is up to me and if we lose, it's all my fault." Whoa! Shades of Ho-ho-Holly from the last season of Road Rules!