Previously, the gays all made out like bunnies, and the Vets steamrolled the fuck out of the Rookies.
Evelyn and Brooke are cuddling on the couch as Ev interviews that she just might be willing to throw the competition over this time around if she had to choose between the Challenge and Brooke. Which...man, MTV needs to throw more lesbians on this show because with only one option, Ev is seriously reaching. Brooke tells Ev what any girl wants to hear from their special someone: "If you had a dick, you'd be perfect." As the choppily-cut scene bounces around, we see Ev sarcastically tease Brooke that she wanted to get some screen time on the new Challenge so she went and hooked up with the lesbian. She insists she's kidding, but...not entirely, I don't think. I mean, not if she's got a brain. Brooke then gives this incongruous interview where she says she doesn't want Ev to get unrealistic expectations of what they have going on, even though Ev certainly seems to have some degree of guard up. Whatever, you guys, I'm just biding my time until someone makes the mistake of telling Brooke she has a fat face. Then it's ON.
In the Vet girls' room, Coral, Robin, Katie, and Beth -- our very own Crag-mere Mafia -- are plotting out what happens in the event that the Vets lose a competition. Coral thinks she'd definitely get sent to the Gauntlet, while Robin's like, "Get over yourself, they'll totally pick Evelyn. And she will rock our asses." Robin interviews that the law of averages states that they're going to lose eventually, and she's looking forward to the drama. And by "drama" she means "when I wind Katie up, point her at someone, and watch the fur fly." Well, fur and phlegm.
I have to say, one of my guilty pleasures in watching this guilty pleasure of a show is reading way too much into the fakey-fake text message readings before competitions. I get a kick out of the ones -- Coral and Evan among them -- who go totally over-the-top with it because they know that on this show full of dumb things, pretending like you just got a spontaneous text from Mary-Ellis Bunim's restless ghost telling you to head down to the beach in your swimmin' gear tomorrow might be the dumbest.
So, the next day's competition involves laundry hanging on clotheslines. Maybe it's because I have Dolores Claiborne on the brain, but I'm thinking maybe this is a subliminal hint to some of these people that they can get perfectly respectable work doing laundry for rich muckity mucks on Cape Cod in the summertime instead of whoring themselves out every six months for a Challenge. Why would MTV want to do that, you ask? Shut up, I reply. So anyway, the task is for teams to send people out to the ocean, soak up water with the clothes, bring them back, have some middlemen send the wet clothes down the clothesline, and the wring the out into a bucket. First team to fill their bucket past a certain point wins. It's a female Gauntlet day, for the record.