Real World - Road Rules Challenge
Sour Grapes

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Sour Grapes

Timmy sums up the previous half-hour in the most condescending way possible: "Davis actually sent home Danny. You had to be there to believe it." Yeah, one muscle-bound exhibitionist out-ran another muscle-bound exhibitionist. Alert Rick Reilly. Oh, right, because Davis is gay and it's shocking he didn't collapse into a pile of pink sequins before the Inferno was over. Shut up, Timmy.

On the ride home from the Inferno, the GGs start tempting fate in the most serious way possible: by poking it with the giant stick of hubris. The GGs have a 5-3 advantage in dudes! How can they possibly lose? Well, if MTV would ever use that menstruation challenge idea I sent them...oh, never mind.

Ooh! Time for the petty bitchery! Tonya tells us that she and Susie don't like each other and never have. Have they...ever been on a show together before? Is this one of those Fishbowl.com "You blew my boyfriend in the bathroom at Mike Boogie's club," beefs that only reality TV stars get involved in and only reality TV stars care about? Anyway, the cameras once again fail to catch the inciting incident -- Susie telling Tonya her perfume makes her smell like a stripper ("but in a good way!") -- so all we get is the bickering that follows. Susie's trying to pretend she meant no offense, but Tonya's like, "Whatever, we hate each other, why are we even talking?" Susie gives this really fake interview about how she just can't imagine why Tonya doesn't like her. Then, this exchange happens:

Susie: "You know there's people dying all over the world."
Tonya: "What does that have to do with you being such a bitch?"

HA! Score one for Tonya! Shit, score two. I know it's only a matter of time before she regresses and starts humping stop signs, but I'm currently enjoying New Tonya. Of course, she kind of steps on her own cool by trying to say the stripper comment had no effect on her...while she tells Ev all about it in minute detail for a half hour. Still, when the alternative is Susie being all, "I'm gonna pray for that girl," the choice is easy.

The challenge is a giant team grape stomp, with the added disgusting breach of hygiene being that they have to transport the grape juice from barrel to bottle with their mouths. Oh. Fucking. Gross. Thank God Danny and his lip herpes got eliminated before this challenge. The show tries to make up for this disgustingness by putting the guys in skimpy bathing suits. ...Oh fine, MTV. Uncle. However: didn't Abram used to be all ripped and Adonis-like? Wha happened? This actually becomes an issue with the Good Guys, as Alton, Timmy, and Ace refuse to don the man-panties and thus decline to compete. Alton says it's because he's "hung like a horse" and he's be inadequately covered. Oh, that old excuse. Ace's wussy reason is that he caught hell from friends and family the last time he wore a speedo on TV. And Timmy...is 55 years old. I'll give him a pass. Meanwhile, Kenny wins back Challenge Boyfriend honors by making fun of the lot of them and taking credit for shaming the three of them out of the challenge by looking so damn sex-ay.

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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