Real World - Road Rules Challenge
The Big Five

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The Big Five

The Previouslies have been lost to the sands of time-shifting, but suffice it to say: Aneesa went home last week, and the Good Guys were really not thrilled with Susie and Cara. As we enter the final challenge, and indeed the final preposterous credits sequence, I have to say: thank God Danny got eliminated early, you guys. I start twitching just looking at the guy.

While Johnny plays pool with the traveling Mensa chapter that is Abram and Derrick, his astral projection interviews that the GGs are in disarray, with the boys plus Paula on one side, and the ever-annoying Susie and Cara on the other. Meanwhile, Derrick is still whining about never having won a challenge, and Alton speaks some mad gibberish about how his team stacks up against the BAs. The product-placed text message clue seems to suggest the final challenge will have to do with the "big five" game that gets hunted in Africa. In an interview, Susie expresses insincere bafflement at the idea that her team wants nothing to do with her or Cara. Alton interviews that the GGs no longer care about what those two girls are doing, which seems like a great plan going into the final challenge which, season after season, proves that teams are only as strong as their weakest links. Kenny, meanwhile, does a sexy dance and shakes out a pink tee in preparation for the final contest. Don't think the Challenge Boyfriend Derby is all sewn up yet, though.

When the teams meet TJ, we learn (or else we're reminded, hell if I know) that by virtue of making the final challenge, both teams keep the prize money they've banked -- the six GGs get 10-grand apiece, while the BAs -- also six members strong -- each get $15,000. The winners of the final challenge split $150,000. The final challenge is easier to explain that I thought it would be: a cross-country race with checkpoints where the teams have to solve puzzles. Each team is given four 3D blocks to start and they'll pick up more blocks along the way. They need to assemble the blocks at each checkpoint to reveal images of the Big Five game in Africa: the lion, the leopard, the water buffalo, the elephant, and the rhinoceros. First team across the finish line wins.

Ev voices over the seldom-expressed point that the Good Guys are A TEAM DIVIDED, while the Bad Asses are a rather cohesive unit. Hang your heads in shame, Good Guys, that a group consisting of Tonya and Abram are functioning better as a team than your lame asses. As if to illustrate, Cara starts pre-whining about having to carry the puzzle pieces, while Johnny interviews that he wouldn't pee on her or Susie if they were on fire. Go Team!

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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