The BAs finish puzzle #4 as the GGs begin theirs, and while it seems like it could still be close, once Janelle and Abram starts interviewing all, "The Good Guys could still catch up to us! Honest!" you kind of know what's up. Alton seems to think the GGs are getting their puzzles done faster. Ehhh. The final batch of puzzle pieces are "suspended" in their "air" a good foot and a half "above" the ground. It's truly and astoundingly lame visual to see the BAs untie their rope and watch the puzzle blocks "tumble" inches and inches to the ground. Ev barks orders like she's got this puzzle licked, and despite several misdirection ploys, the BAs are suddenly done with their last puzzle. It's a mad dash, then -- downhill, then uphill -- to the finish line. After several moments of non-suspense, and to the surprise of no one, the Bad Asses emerge victorious, marking the first ever Challenge wins for Tonya (6 tries), Derrick (6 tries), and Kenny (3 tries). The fact that I can deliver those stats like it's Nolan Ryan's career ERA bothers me greatly. Derrick gets all the hosannas for his first Challenge win, while Tonya doesn't get dick. (...It's too easy. You're better than that.)
The Good Guys cross the finish line. Ace is just happy to have made it to the end of one of these things. He fake-celebrates like he really won. Aw, Ace. You can be my Challenge Boyfriend. Don't tell the other two. Cara infuriatingly laments in an interview that poor teamwork and a lack of cooperation is what doomed her team. Like they all woke up this morning with a bad case of poor teamwork and it wasn't fostered from Day 1 by Cara and Susie's smug little pact. Tonya's psyched to have won. Paula's happy to have made it to the end. Hugs all around! Sepia-toned flashbacks! Alton Sez: Best Challenge Yet! Abram discusses breaking mental and physical boundaries in a stilted manner reminiscent of a poetry slam! Cara can't get along with people! Kenny in a speedo and then winking suggestively! Susie feels blessed! People who died along the way! Or maybe they just went to a hotel nearby! Timmy's tearful goodbye! Joe R gagging on his own rage!
So that's the season. Props to Sars for being an awesome tag team partner. Props to all the lovely people who read and posted and emailed me nice thoughts. I heard a rumor that the next Challenge is going to feature The Return Of Coral, so you bet your ass I'll be watching again. I have no dignity anymore.