Real World - Road Rules Challenge
The Final Mission

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The Final Mission

The two teams are still at the Playboy Mansion. You know, the Playboy Mansion doesn't look anything like I thought it would. It's actually kind of classy-looking, if you ignore all the bimbos running around half-naked. The Mansion itself is a nice old-looking stone building. Victoria, the vaguely-Germanic Playmate-turned-tour guide, suggests that the cast members drop their stuff and join her for a tour of the grounds.

Victoria takes off down a trail, and Mark is hot on her tail. Literally. Jason tools, "I figure I should just light up a cigarette and follow those breasts." I hate him. Janet tells Montana that this would be her ideal house, and Montana adds, "Except for all his women with great big boobs running around." Mark, Anne, and Montana discuss how cool the house is. Anne is really, really emaciated. Like, she is scaring me with her bony arms and gigantic teeth. Maybe that's why they didn't show her all season -- she's frightening. In an interview, Montana says, "Hook a sister up! This seems like a reward for the men." Well, the straight men. I have my doubts about some of them. Mark cheeses to Victoria that she looks like his girlfriend. The editors subtly cut to a peacock, because do you get it? Mark is strutting around like a peacock, trying to attract the attention of Victoria or any other nearby Playmate.

The tour makes a stop at the monkey house. Yes, there's a monkey house. I don't know. Beth tries to feed the monkeys a banana, but they want nothing to do with her. Noah says that she's scaring the monkeys. This has all taken a turn for the surreal. Montana is wearing some pants that are way too short in the rise, if you get my drift. Victoria tells them that they get the run of the guest cottages, the pool, and the grounds tonight. The cast members pick up their bags, and Victoria says something about there being special rooms just for sex. Kefla gets Victoria to carry his sleeping bag. Hee!

The cast members enter their accommodations, where they find pinball machines and smoking jackets with the show logo. Beth loves the smoking jackets. Jason makes fun of Noah for being so impressed that the pinball machine works without quarters, pointing out that they are at the Playboy Mansion, and that there might be other impressive things. The camera pans over to a stack of Playboys on a counter. Victoria hits Jason on the butt and says that he needs a little spanking.

Victoria invites all the cast members to go for a swim, because she's hot. She pushes her hair back and sticks her chest out when she says this. I wonder whether they have to go to a special Playmate school to learn those gestures. In an interview, Montana sarcastically says that there is nothing she would like better than to get into a bathing suit with all the Playboy models. Victoria jokes around with Nathan who, as usual, looks like a doofus. A woman named Stacey introduces herself to Montana and Anne. She tells them in which issue of the magazine she appeared, and Noah remembers the issue. Stacey says that her brother has always had "a prescription to Playboy." In an interview, Montana snarks, "Not only are they funny, they're intelligent too." Hey, Montana is taking all of my good lines! Let me do my job, Montana!

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Real World - Road Rules Challenge

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