Mike and Tara horse around outside, chasing each other around and eventually throwing each other into the pool. It's like watching monkeys do some sort of mating ritual. Then they start hitting each other with wet socks. In an interview, Mike says that they are opposites, but they click. In an interview, Tara says that Mike is fun to hang around with and she likes him. This is so third-grade. Mike declares that he's no longer The Miz -- he is now Karate Mike.

In an interview, Coral says that Mike and Tara like each other. Okay, we get it! They like each other! God! Show some sex scenes or move on! In an interview, Theo shows up with the return of the Blue Star of Evil on his cheek, and declares that he doesn't know if Mike and Tara are "hiding files," but they "seem to be rather secretive." I wish I could tell you about the next scene, but I think my corneas burned out. All I remember before everything went dark was that Mike and Tara were kissing and then his hand moved toward her boob, and...sorry. I can't go on.

The next morning, the camera shows a bunch of people sleeping, and then sneaks up on Tara and Mike, lying in bed together (fully clothed) and kissing. Tara spots the camera and sneaks out of the room. Mike rolls over onto his stomach, and I'll let you draw your own conclusions there. Tara runs into another room and sneaks into the bathroom. In an interview, the director asks Tara if she has any romantic interest in any of the other contestants, and she smiles and dreamily says no. He asks if she's sure, and reminds her that this is her opportunity to "have [her] voice." Tara is sure that the answer is no. Cut to Tara, brushing her teeth, clearly not wearing a bra (although why would she be, since she just got up?). I'm just saying -- there's a whole lot of shaking going on. Cut back to Mike, totally pretending to be asleep in bed, but he looks like the cat that ate the canary. Ew, I just grossed myself out. I just think Mike is gross and I can't imagine wanting to kiss him. In an interview, a female producer asks Mike what is going on with "the girl." Mike pretends he doesn't know what she's talking about. The producer adds, "You and Tara." Mike says with a big grin that he and Tara are just friends, and that although there are "rumors flying around," he's not going to comment on them because they are just rumors.