They arrive at their house, which is a converted warehouse on a pier. David just takes off, leaving Nathan to pick up all their bags and carry them in. David yells out "Captain Gorton Fish Sticks, loving life!" This is my first clue that David is on drugs. What is he talking about? David and Nathan drag their bags down the pier and when they reach the door, Nathan yells out, "Oh my God!" and David falls down, laughing and clapping. It's kind of lost its shock value for me, but I guess the first time you see this house is pretty impressive. They walk in and see the décor, which I think can best be described as "eclectic." ["And would less kindly be described as 'hideously offensive.' -- Wing Chun] They reach one of the bedrooms and David yells out, "Who's your papa?" and Nathan hugs him. I'm just reporting the facts here, people. They go into the bathroom, where there are multiple freestanding sinks and what Nathan describes as "Japanese showers." David says that "even the soap is cool." ["Okay, I do like the bathroom, but the rest of the house is ass." -- Wing Chun] Nathan says it's "like looking into a candy store." The pair enter another bedroom, but quickly dismiss it as having a "girl thing." I'm not sure how they come to this conclusion, since it looked pretty similar to the other rooms to me. Back in the main room, David takes off his coat and Nathan flops onto the couch, which he quickly names "chia couch" because it looks like it's covered in ugly shag carpeting. I always thought that couch was nasty. Can you imagine how many crumbs were in there? And it must have gotten all matted down. But I'm getting ahead of myself. David points out the gas fireplace in the middle of the room, and says he used to have a fireplace growing up -- he built a fire in the "dumpster outside [his] house." Is David's last name Copperfield, because he's killing me with the sob stories. Nathan keeps exploring, checking out a robotic shark hanging on the wall, and finding a little hole in the floor that allows them to fish from inside the house.
Episode Report CardKim: D | 300 USERS: C+
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