And now for the oh-so-dated faux Ricki Lake segment of the show, where Cynthia, Melissa, Sarah and Flora sit around and discuss Flora's relationship. "Why do you stay with him?" "I'm such a fool; I'm 100 percent certain he's fucking around on me right now." Pot, kettle, you've met before. Joe sits there silently and says in voice-over, "Flora needs people to be firm with her." Yeah, she needs discipline. Put her over your tiny knee, Joe. Cyn says, "All you're gonna be is fucked!" Melissa repeats the oft-repeated phrase, "No one's gonna respect you until you..." I plug my ears, LA LA LA LA LA!!! That comment is like the humidity conversation that I hear every freaking summer. It's TI-RED. So stop.
Joe gets on a plane to NYC. Godspeed.
Flora comes running onto the house. Louis trails behind. Flora asks excitedly, "Did Mitchell call? I saw my jeep on the beach!" Louis says goodbye, and Flora pretends to cry. "Don't leeeave me, boo hoo." Louis is, like, running out the door: "See you in three days." Flora haggles him down to two. Who is betting Louis has another girlfriend he's running off to? That's a smart bet. They kiss and then Louis is outta there. Flora runs up the stairs, shrieking, "What am I to do?" Who wants to go first? I can start: Lose the white jeans. In a sit-down Flora explains, "I play with fire all the time, and I do get burned." Sizzle away, Flora. Then she gnaws on her nails. Oy, we GET IT.
Flora Rollerblades up to a snazzy hotel. Mitchell warily walks out the front door. Flora's like, "Hel-LO?" He asks, "Why were you so rude to me?" She gives him a brief peck on the cheek. Suddenly, Mitchell grabs her hand and drags her away, down the steps and onto the sidewalk. Flora laughs and holds on tight. Away from the hotel they exchange a passionate kiss. Jump cut to Mitchell moving into the house. He explains that "he loves her crazy ways," and she says, "We're one person." Sharing a brain? Mm-hmm. Flora shows Mitchell their house, pointing out that someone stole the 8-ball off the pool table (way to go, Road Rules!) and that Joe's in New York, selling his stuff and making sweet, sweet love to a fifty-foot woman. No she didn't, but she's thinking it.