Real World
All Apologies

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Kim: F | Grade It Now!
All Apologies

Trishelle promotes the party to some guys in a bar. Alton asks a woman in a coffee shop if he can put some flyers out. In an interview, Alton says that it's just another week where he does all the promotion and no one else works. In an interview, Frank says that he doesn't feel like they've done enough promotion, so he decided to go out and even just do a little, because it's better than nothing. While he was out, he met a girl named Melanie, who was "so cool" and "one of the nicer girls that [he's] met in Las Vegas," but she's only there on her spring break. Frank talks to Melanie, who appears to be all alone. So either her friends ditched her or she went on spring break by herself. Frank slurs that he's in Vegas so he can't meet normal girls, until Melanie. In a confessional, Frank says that even though he's twenty-two, when he meets girls, he wonders if he could marry them. Okay, seriously, if they're old enough to consider marrying, they are not "girls." They are women. I know it seems silly, but it really bothers me that he always calls female people "girls." I think it speaks volumes about his issues with women. Frank tells Melanie that when he gets married, he doesn't want to have a bachelor party, because to him that implies that he thinks being married will suck. That's the first sensible thing he's said all night. Melanie wouldn't want to marry a guy who needed a bachelor party.

Melanie asks where they should go. Frank says it's up to her. They head up to the suite. They go into Frank's room, but Alton is asleep in there. Frank grabs some blankets and tells Steven that he and Melanie are going into the confessional to get some privacy. Steven giggles. In a confessional, Frank (with Melanie on his lap) says that Melanie "is the only good girl [he's] met in Las Vegas." Enough with the "good girl" obsession. God! In an interview, Steven says that he knows Frank and Melanie aren't doing anything more than kissing. And lo and behold, Frank and Melanie are kissing. Brynn walks into the confessional and clearly interrupts something, and apologizes. She runs out into the Hallway of Smoke and tells Arissa and Irulan that she saw "some guy's naked ass" in the confessional. Irulan is scandalized, but intrigued. Brynn doesn't know who it was. Arissa immediately gets pissed that someone is having sex in the confessional, and asks if it was Alton. Brynn thinks it was. Irulan points out that Frank came in with a girl. Brynn doesn't think it was Frank. Arissa dramatically stubs out her cigarette, dramatically pulls open the door, and dramatically walks down the hall, swinging her ponytail. Dramatically. She reaches the confessional and knocks on the door, giving a really fucking condescending speech about how the confessional is "a communal space." The people inside open the door a bit (I have to assume it locks from the inside, so they must have opened it) and Arissa pokes her head in a bit. Arissa commands the people inside to "get your skank ass out of here." The person inside (presumably it was Frank) slams the door and bonks Arissa in the forehead. And then they show it again. And then I use my Instant Replay feature on my new DVR to watch it a few more times. It's difficult to tell how hard she got hit, and how much of it was her pulling back to avoid being hit in the first place. She certainly doesn't grab her head or anything as you might imagine. Arissa struggles to open the door and keeps yelling, "Take your skank out of here!" Like, why does she always insult the female half of the couple? Why isn't Frank the skank in this scenario, or Alton in the previous one? This season is setting women back, like, twenty years.

Arissa sits (dramatically) outside the confessional, waiting for Frank and Melanie to emerge so that she can confront them. What is she going to say exactly, that she hasn't already said? Is she going to call Melanie a skank a few more times? In an interview, Steven says that Arissa seems to be looking for things to be angry about. Arissa tells Steven it's gross that people are having sex in a communal space. Which it is, but when you live with six walking hormones, I don't know what else you expect. As disgusting as it is to consider, there aren't many places in your typical college dorm where at least one couple hasn't had sex. When you put sexed-up young people in a position where they have to share sleeping quarters, that's what happens. People get creative. Frank walks out and tells Arissa that Melanie is frightened because she feels like everyone thinks they were having sex. He asks Arissa and Steven to beat it so that Melanie can walk out without seeing them. Frank also adds that he was just kissing her. I guess those were the magic words, because suddenly Arissa is totally fine with everything and agrees to go inside so Melanie can make her great escape. In an interview, Frank says that he's acting very cordial to Arissa because screaming and yelling will just make things worse for Melanie. So if they were just kissing, why did Brynn see naked ass? Wait, do I really want an answer to that question? No. No, I don't. Frank leads Melanie out very quickly and assures her that it's okay.

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