In an interview, Jamie says that Melissa's "roots are like nothing [he's] ever heard before" and that her "relationship with her parents is complete whacked." Jamie must be really sheltered. I mean, just about every friend I had growing up had an alcoholic in the family -- a brother, a father, a brother-in-law. And all of their stories sound eerily similar to Melissa's. I'm not saying that makes the situation any less traumatic for a child. I'm just saying that I've heard it before, many times. Melissa tells Jamie that her situation explains why she constantly tries to be funny, because it's her means of survival and the only way she has to deal with the things that plague her. Jamie says it's a "humor defense." I remember this from my high-school psychology class many moons past -- Melissa is exhibiting "mascot" behavior, trying to be funny or clever to deflect attention from the real problem and to keep people from getting angry. It's like Dysfunction Junction over there in Tampa. Melissa says that her father has given her so much, and that he's a good dad who has a problem. Frankly, if she can separate the behavior from the person, she's already doing a good job of healing, I think. Or, she's been to an Al-Anon meeting or five. Jamie tries to break open a crab of some sort and spurts it all over the place, lightening the mood. In an interview, Melissa says that Jamie makes her forget that she has problems and reminds her that she's a fun person. But isn't that what got her into this mess in the first place?

Matt walks into the house with a large package. The music says, "Oh my love, it's you I've been missing," so I think it must be something for his computer, especially since he was talking about making love to it in previous episodes. Come on -- if it was revealed that Matt was actually a cyborg, you wouldn't really be surprised, would you? Have we seen the "man" show an emotion yet? Besides smugness? Because that can be programmed. Anyway, the package contains Matt's low-rider bike, which is just sad in so many ways. Then it gets even sadder when he reveals that he has shoes to match his banana bike seat. Seriously, if I saw him riding that thing down the street, I would probably wet myself laughing. Can you imagine Matt, replete in coonskin coat and supa-fly sunglasses, riding that bike down the street? Then we never actually get to see Matt riding the bike (except the shot in the opening credits, which is not nearly long enough for entertainment purposes). Instead, Matt explains how he first saw that style of bike in a video, and the song for which the video was made was some sort of want-ad for a girl, and Matt feels like it was a want-ad he himself could have posted. And because I love you all so much, and because I'm honestly curious, and because you know I'm all about the research, I found the lyrics to the song. Here they are: