Melissa is on the phone with her mom. She says, "I can't help it." Then there's a voiceover, but they're kind of trying to make it out like she's saying it on the phone. She says that she thought she was strong enough to be funny the whole time. Then she really does ask her mom if she's going to die and puts her head down on the desk, revealing what looks like a gigantic bald spot. I tried to convince myself that it was just a matted down place in her hair, but I didn't really succeed. ["Maybe that's why she changed her hairstyle?" -- Sars] In a confessional, Melissa says that her problem is bigger than her, and she has allowed it to fester into something disgustingly big, bigger than anything she can handle. We get another film-school fade to Melissa telling her mom that she just wants to pack her shit and leave.

Melissa tells Kelley and Julie that she's comfortable enough in the house to really be herself, and that she doesn't like being herself. Which would mean that she's not comfortable, right? I've given up on trying to make sense of anything Melissa says at this point. Because she's crazy. In an interview, Kelley says that Melissa is dealing with issues in her life for the first time, and she's having a hard time accepting that she has problems to work out. Melissa asks Kelley if something would be missing from the house if she left. Kelley and Julie both say yes. I agree -- who would explain to Julie why it's bad to say "colored"? In an interview, Julie says that Melissa is a "dramatic personality," and that she gets upset about things quickly. Gee, thanks for the news flash. I didn't get that from her "time the fuck out" eruption. Julie tells Melissa that she can't leave.

Julie, Matt, and Melissa are in the car. Julie is driving. Melissa is sitting in back and Matt is lying with his head in her lap. Matt says that the last seven girls he told to look at his website all wanted to "chill," and I'm guessing he means that in the Teck Money sense of the word. Julie channels me for a minute and says, "You have got to be joking me." Matt says that his "webpage is on fire" and that he doesn't get phone calls like David, but he gets girls signing his guestbook instead. Now I feel dirty because I've looked at his site before. In an interview, Matt explains about his website for those who haven't seen it, explaining that it contains pictures of him and his daily journal, and that it's a little chunk of him that's not accessible when he first meets someone. Melissa jokes that she's worried about what will happen to him when the computer crashes. In an interview, Melissa says that Matt really believes that the woman who will be the love of his life will fall into his lap some day. Melissa asks Matt about Kelley from 735 (hereafter referred to as 735Kelley to avoid confusion). Matt says that he liked her, and wonders if he should call. To Julie's credit, she doesn't go insane with jealousy and run the car off the road. Melissa says, with much eye-rolling, that he can't call her yet, because she has to check out his website first. Ha! Score one for Melissa. Matt says that she signed his guestbook three times already, and now it's his turn, and he's contemplating his next move. Julie calls him the "biggest cyberdork [she's] ever heard of." Matt retorts that the name is "cyber pimp" so "step off." Here's Matt's problem. He tries to crack jokes, but he has no sense of sarcasm or delivery or emotion of any kind, so it seems like he's serious when he's really not. I truly believe that was supposed to be a joke, but he said it so deadpan that I could see it being misunderstood as serious, kind of like when he said drag queens were like scary clowns. Also, on behalf of everyone who has a personal website, I would like to say that Matt is a cyberdork, and if he really thinks that women are going to be so impressed by his website that they will want to date him, he is sadly mistaken. I mean, it's a decent site, but it's not that great.