Real World

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 237 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
And Take Beth With You!

The girls rise as a group from the table, and climb up the stairs to their room, all in one solemn, seemingly synchronized, sanctimonious line. Tami is wearing a pin-striped suit with her Newsies cap. Irene is wearing a vest. They make my eyes all hurty. Each girl stomps silently past David, who is sitting on the bottom step of the second landing. Irene gives Jon a dirty look for no apparent reason as she passes him.

This is the part where my tape gets a little funky, and I have this horrible moment when I think that maybe it futzed out entirely and the rest of it is just static, and how the hell am I going to recap that? So bear with me for a second here. It looks like Aaron and David are in the kitchen, and David says something about being treated like a criminal, and Aaron says "yeah," very noncommittally, and then David says, "I admit static static static but I'm not going to come down like that." I imagine David admitted that his little game got out of hand, but really, who knows? He may have admitted to killing JFK and confessed to being Deep Throat. We'll never know, though, because this is the part where everything goes black, and I scream and pray to the VCR gods, and I promise to give up Scott Speedman forever, if the rest of the tape is okay, and I guess that sacrifice -- the ultimate sacrifice, really -- was enough, because suddenly everything is okay, and Aaron and David and Jon are in the kitchen, and Aaron is scrubbing the counter next to the sink over and over and over and over again, as David blathers about how irritated he is with the girls and how unfairly they're treating him. Aaron and Jon look sheepish and completely uncomfortable.

In an interview, David complains that Irene is condescending to him, and that he hates it.

Back in the kitchen, both Aaron and Jon talk to David without actually looking him in the eye. They try to convince him to talk to the girls en masse, because that's the only way any of them will deign to speak to him, and because, as Jon puts it, this is not a situation that's just going to go away if they ignore it. David reluctantly agrees.

The housemates gather in the living room. Beth has changed from the black turtleneck of gravitas into a horrid pajama combination that involves beige flowered leggings. Those leggings make me want to cry, they're actually that ugly. David apologizes half-heartedly to Tami, who feels it's necessary to provide yet another play-by-play of the night in question because, you know, none of them were there and it wasn't captured on tape. Oh, except it was the opposite of that. Shut up, Tami. Dom and Aaron both look as though they'd rather be onstage at Denim and Diamonds playing the washboard and harmonica, respectively, as Jon's backup band, than in this house meeting. David tells Tami, again, that he thought they were playing a silly, silly game! Irene furrows her brow. David wishes he could play the tape of the incident so that Tami could see herself yukking it up. He can't, but B/M can, and they do, in this very nostalgic sepia tone, which recalls those faux historical pictures you take at the county fair. We see the clip of Tami mock-screaming and telling David to cut it out, and yes, it's ambiguous, and yes, we. Get. It.

Real World

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