The season opens with clips from each new cast member's audition tape. First up is MJ, twenty-three, who is from, he exclaims, "Nash Vegas." That's one of those city nicknames that no one should actually use, like "Chi Town," or "The Big Apple," or "La La Land." MJ looks like Christopher Atkins mated with Michelangelo's David. Which would be uncomfortable, to say the least. We see footage of MJ playing football and flexing for the camera. MJ interviews that he is going on the show to get a "better understanding of the North and of a diverse group of people." Because the North is a foreign country, like Croatia or something. MJ also has bugeyes.
Next up is Melanie, twenty-one, from Santa Cruz, California. Melanie has flippy hair. She interviews that she has had serious boyfriends for her whole life, and tends to attach herself to other people, so she wants to try to be independent. She demonstrates her lack of independence in her audition tape by showering with another guy. She's so codependent, she can't even wash her own hair!
Karamo, twenty-three, is from Houston. He does a little striptease for the camera, and then describes himself as handsome, intelligent, athletic, down-to-earth, and motivated. It's apparent that low self-esteem is not a problem for Karamo.
And now it's time for Sarah, twenty-three, from Tampa. Ah, Tampa. Reality television breeding ground. Do they have a factory there or something? Sarah has very heavy bangs, and while she has Mischa Barton's hair, she unfortunately has Benjamin McKenzie's features. Sarah interviews that it's hard for guys to understand that she wants to have sex without the attendant emotions. Yeah, those guys. They hate casual sex.
Landon, twenty-four, is from River Falls, Wisconsin. He looks like Bachelor Bob's younger brother, with the same curly mop of hair (although slightly less greasy) and somewhat porcine features. Landon explains that he likes to get wild and crazy (read: drunk as a skunk). Landon actually earns a "heh" when he screams into the camera "Hell's Angels!" and then rides off on a motor scooter. There's hope for him yet.
Shavonda, twenty-one, is from San Diego. She works at Hooters. She's black, and she's dating a white guy named Sean. Her boyfriend is...well, not that attractive, at least in the two seconds he's on screen. It wouldn't seem like a big deal, but Shavonda (as you will soon hear from all of the other roommates) is quite attractive.