Real World
Booty Call!

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Booty Call!

Kevin: I felt more comfortable asking Andre about his background, which is pretty interesting. I kept trying to put little pieces of information about myself in there, and I don't know if he wasn't interested or didn't notice, but he didn't respond, so I just kept asking questions about him. And that's just the way it went.

Sort of sounds like a bad date. Andre, who is being shot from overhead like some bad Warrant video, tells us that talking with Kevin is talking with someone in a complete state of denial. For example, Andre asked Kevin what happened with the fight between him and Becky, and Kevin said that there was no fight, and that he has no problem with Becky at all. Andre shakes his head disbelievingly and says, "What the fuck's up with that?"

Back to the islands. Shot of a couple of fishing boats. Becky and Heather are in their room, calling Andre and generally baiting him with how beautiful it is in Jamaica. Andre shows a great deal of forbearance by not hanging up on them and pouting. Becky says that she slept with twelve Rasta men. Kevin asks, "What took her so long?" There's some more chit-chat. Then Andre hangs up and says, "Use a rubber."

Julie: So last night we decided, that's it, we're going to MEET MEN. This is it.

Cut to a hilarious montage of shots of Becky surrounded by schlubby losers trying to hit on her. At one point this guy tries to be a big suave-o and take her hand and she forcibly yanks it away from him. There are no words to describe these guys except the words Monster Truck Rally.

Julie: So we decided we're just going to meet as many men as we can, hear as many crappy lines as possible, and at one point we're making bets like, "Oh, I bet I can get a guy to jump in the water before you can," and Becky was saying she could, and then I turn around and, whammo, first victim.

Some brutally unattractive guy who looks a bit like a fetus tells Julie that she's a really attractive girl. Julie bats her eyelashes (literally) and waves a hand and him and says with so much molasses in her voice it nearly makes me diabetic, "Oh, stop! You say that to everyone here." She's being such an enormous ham I expect Hormel to come by and put a quality stamp on her. Then old Fetus Face tells her that he went out with an Elle model once, so he should know.

This guy then tells her he's got his own business. Julie keeps saying, "Is that rahyt?" She keeps dancing with him. Heather then tells us that Julie finally leaves, and Fetus Face comes over to her and Becky and asks if she's coming back. Heather says, "And I told him, 'No, don't you get it?'"

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Real World

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