Real World

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | 246 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Bummer

The Cat of Vulnerability is rudely shuffled out of the way by Elka dragging numerous bags from her bedroom into the living room. She picks up the phone and dials for directory assistance, becoming frustrated when her request for "a cab company" lands her on hold, victimized by recorded "your call is important to us" messages for what the show would like us to believe is length of several reigns of British royalty. Sometime during the latter days of the Plantangenets, she slams the phone down and runs out onto the street, hailing a cab several blocks away and asking the driver to pull in front of the firehouse. She runs back and forth from the house retrieving bags one by one, and then stops the driver once more, yelling, "Oh, my God. I almost forgot something." She runs back into the house and grabs what looks like her dress, informing the driver that it was "the most important thing" she had to bring. The driver remembers to care. Where in the holy hell are her roommates to lend a little hand in all of this? I'm sure Genesis is passed out on the floor of the living room from the fumes emanating from the receiver, and since this is the touchy-feely Mother's Day episode there can be no shots of the boys, because, as everyone knows, all boys hate their mothers. Elka voice-overs, "I do think that going back to Brownsville is definitely going to ignite some old memories and old feelings and things." Oh, great. "Old feelings" and "things." I can just feel this recap getting more and more hilarious by the second.

The Southern Fried Rock of We Get it You're in Texas rages on the soundtrack as The Bumpkins sing, "So when I'm lonely and feeling down/I run back like a child to my little town, now/You can take me out of Texas, baby/But you ain't gonna take the Texas out of me." Original. As are the numerous establishing shots of the Lone Star flag, dry-looking stretches of uninhabited swampish land, and other general pollution-ridden, education-eschewing, death-row-advocating wrongs being perpetrated on unsuspecting citizens by the state's governor contemporary with the original airing of this episode. Oh, I'm sorry, was I editorializing? Well, it's either that or making fun of Elka's dead mom for twenty-two TV minutes, so save your emails, okay? Wow, thanks.

Real World

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