Real World
Burn Book

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!

Lantern. Ship. Ship. Waves. Outdoor bar. Paula tells Svet how understanding Keith was being on the phone. Svet...I can't believe she does this: she proceeds to tell Paula how Tyler was saying that he doesn't feel comfortable having Keith stay with them. Paula is mad, saying that Tyler will never "get it," and that he's very set in his ways.

Boat. Drunk guy sitting on some stairs. Waving flag. House. Paula is on the phone again with Abusive Boyfriend Keith, telling him the thing about Tyler being uncomfortable. Oh shit, Tyler's going to get his ass kicked! Keith thinks that's "really fucked up." Paula bitches that no one has the right to tell her what's right for her. Sure, but you're missing the point, Punching Bag. Tyler is saying he wouldn't feel comfortable with Keith staying in the house with him. It's not that he's not right for you. He just doesn't want to have to deal with a psycho under his roof. Big diff, stupid. Paula camera-talks some more bullshit about her life and no one knows and faith and doing the right thing and being positive and this is how she's going to live her life. Paula thinks that, as a Gay, Tyler should be more understanding about things that are different. Exsqueezeme? How does that follow? Paula then says that Tyler is also a self-righteous prick who only listens "to his own scenarios." Well, she's got a point there.

Speaking of...said prick is in the office with Janelle and Jose, making a Burn Book, writing down the stupid shit Svet has said and done. We get a little montage of flashbacks of Svet saying dumb things. Svet played Spin The Bottle in the Poconos with older boys when she was eight. Svet dressed as a Hooters girl when she was eleven. She won't marry "anything less" than a lawyer. Money makes her happy. Janelle camera-snots that she feels bad for participating in the Burn Book, but assures us that if we had to listen to Svet's bullshit, we'd be making a Burn Book too. You know, not so sure that's true, Janelle. They make a list of Svet's weird allergies: lobster, nuts, onions, latex, sperm...and during this, the bored editors find stock photos of said things, including sperm, and put them on screen with a dinging bell sound for each one. Those guys are so bored. Tyler finishes off the list by adding that Svet's probably allergic to Janelle and himself as well. Next is the "eating disorder" she supposedly has. Tyler giggles and says that if Svet ever saw the book, he'd have a "knife in his thigh."

On the next...Zach and Crystal make out. Zach tells us he's been honest with her about not wanting to be her boyfriend. Zach dances with some beauty-contest girl. Tyler and Zach mumble in the car about Crystal and how Zach is being a dick to her. Svet gets bad news on the phone from Martin, ostensibly about his sick father. Svet punches the wall of Mystic Tan. Mystic Tan deserves it for making them all so orange.

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Real World




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