Hey, what's about eight inches long and always in Sharon's hand near her mouth? Sorry, gentle viewers, it's the telephone. The telephone! A montage sequence shows Sharon jabbering on the phone while her roommates yell at her to get off. Sharon, of course, doesn't think she uses the phone too much, "People just seem to want to use it when I do." "The problem wasn't one phone, seven people," says Jay. "The problem was one phone, six people and Sharon."
More phone problems. The gang has to elect someone to put the phone in their name. It has to be an English resident, so Neil and Sharon are asked to do it. Neil suggests they put it under a made-up name so no one can trace it. Wow, Neil, how anarchistic. Must be all that punk rock you listen to. Sharon refuses because it's too big a responsibility, and is quite a bee-otch about it considering that she uses the phone the most. She keeps saying, "I don't want the responsibility." Mike offers to do all the "adding and multiplying" when the bill comes, but Sharon still refuses, and everyone admits that they're pretty pissed at her. Finally, Neil volunteers, supposing that they'll never find him once he leaves because he doesn't live in London. Um, I don't know how phone connections are set up in non-US countries, but if the phone isn't in someone's name, how come they have one. And if the housemates, and not MTV, are responsible for the phone, why can't someone put in a second line so Sharon's endless jabbering doesn't prevent everyone from getting or making important phone calls? And is there absolutely no footage of anything more exciting than a fight over the phone bill? Again, I ask, could someone please get it on with someone else?
Later, at dinner, Sharon reveals that her voice has been giving her trouble and she may have a nodule on her throat. While she talks about the ramifications of having a problem with her voice and what that could do to her career, the gang sips wine and listens, each probably thinking to him- or herself, "God, I feel sorry for her, but maybe now she'll shut up." Sharon gets confirmation from the hospital that she's got a nodule and she has to get it removed. "As a singer, my profession -- basically, my job -- is being put on the line by this operation. The slightest slip or misjudgment and my voice could go. I may never be able to sing again." Yeah, right, Sharon. Hey, did I ever tell you about that splinter I had removed from my left big toe when I was four? I swear, if my mother had slipped with those tweezers, my career as a funk-aerobics instructor would have been ruined forever! In the kitchen, Jacinda, Kat, Jay, and Michael, four characters in search of a plot of their own, do their best to pretend to be concerned over the outcome of Sharon's operation. Oh, and Jacinda gives us yet another plot-forwarding dialogue by announcing that Lars has the flu.