Lars lies on his bed looking really strung out. "Right now I can't think of anything better to do in London than doing club promotion for Kiss FM," says his voice-over. Think harder, Lars. Every Kiss FM all over the world is known for playing a lot of Puff Daddy and Britney Spears, and I'm sure that Kiss FM London is no exception. Then we see Lars calling Kiss FM and asking a secretary if he can speak to Gordon Mack, some grand poobah for Kiss FM, London. Lars explains that he "knows the boss of Kiss FM, Berlin," and he faxed Gordon and told him that Lars would be coming to town and would like a job with Kiss FM. Oh yeah, "the boss of" Kiss FM. Is that the same guy that is referred to when someone says, "you're not the boss of me"? Looks like this Gordon Mack guy wants a Real World walk-on. Lars makes an appointment with Gordon Mack's secretary to meet with him in the offices of Kiss FM, and then he explains that he's happy not to have a job right away because he needs time to find out what the scene is like in London. By the way, this segment was brought to you by Kiss FM. Tune in the next time you're in London or Berlin.
Michael talks about how cool it is to go to clubs with Lars because "Lars was, you know, like this, shaking his butt back and forth." Michael then treats us to his own interpretation of what Lars looks like shaking his butt back and forth. Ew. What Michael neglects to say is that the real reason he loves going to clubs with Lars is that if he weren't Lars' plus-one, he wouldn't get past the velvet rope at Denny's, let alone a London club. Sharon talks about how fun it is to go out with Lars because "he's going through a house and garage phase," whatever that is. Kat, in a rare appearance in this episode, talks about how much Lars goes out clubbing, and how important that is for Lars since it's his career. Lars tells us in a sit-down that the London club scene is very different because it's more professional. My own experience in Berlin this past February confirms this. Daisygirly took me to a club in East Berlin that was essentially someone's apartment. We walked in and helped ourselves to some free beer and wine, and then we partook of the food that was in this dingy kitchenette. It wasn't finger food. It was this big pot roast that I actually had to hack at for a while with the communal serving spoon in order to get Daisygirly and me some portions. So then we went downstairs carrying these dinner plates and wine glasses and entered this basement that looked like something Anne Frank's family would hide out in. As soon as we found a couple of wine crates to sit on, we settled down, ate our (really excellent, by the way) pot roast, drank heavily, and listened to Britney Spears and *N Sync tunes while I caught Daisygirly up on all the 90210 she'd missed while out of the country. There was no DJ, no laser lights, no snazzy-looking coatcheck girl covered in body paint, and no pierced ecstasy dealers. You pay when you leave, so when we left we gave the owners ten Marks each ($5).