Real World
Cease and Desist

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Cease and Desist

Previously on The Real World: it was really boring.

The opening song on the soundtrack seems to have been expressly written for me, as it goes, "I'm happy. I'm feeling glad." Hey, me too, Mr. Soundtrack Song Singer! I'm happy because this is the last episode of this incredibly dull season. It's not even that it was boring to watch, although it kind of was. It's that there was very little controversy, and no one did anything that offensive, which left me with very little material for recap writing. I mean, I could write volumes about how annoying Amaya is, or how cheesy David from Seattle is, or how ridiculous David from New Orleans is. But I couldn't generate more than a paragraph about anyone on this season. Except maybe the Turtleneck Twins, and I doubt that they will be in this episode. Anyway, on with the finale.

As every season finale must begin by law, the roommates are packing their belongings in preparation for moving out. In an interview, Kevin says that, in a few days, he won't wake up and get to ask Mike and Malik what they are doing that day, and it sucks. Kevin gives Mike an action figure of The Rock, calling it "a little mini-Mike." The Rock has more charisma in his little finger than Mike has in his entire body. Actually, don't get me started on Mike's body. Mike goes into his stupid "Miz" voice, pretending to be a professional wrestler, but actually sounds like his nose is stuffed up, and he's a touch on the slow side. Actually, maybe that is a good approximation of a professional wrestler. And I say this as someone who recapped WWF Smackdown. In an interview, Mike says that he's going to miss the "brotherly stuff that we do." Mike then proceeds to give a speech to The Rock action figure, but the speech is too dumb for me to transcribe. Kevin voice-overs that Mike is crazy; upstairs, Rachel listens to Mike and giggles. Probably out of embarrassment at how stupid Mike sounds.

Because every storyline must have closure, the editors spend a little time explaining to us some more about how much Mike and Quarrel have changed. Mike and Quarrel walk down the street. In an interview, Mike explains that he wants to go to dinner with Quarrel so that they can lay everything out on the table and discuss their issues. Mike tells Quarrel that he never thought they would be going out to dinner together. In an interview, Quarrel says that she and Mike have both done a lot of changing, and that they have somehow met in the middle. Quarrel tells Mike that she had preconceived notions of who he was. Mike asks what those were, and Quarrel says that she thought he was ignorant, with no thoughts for other people, and a bad friend. Quarrel needs to lay off the cigarettes, because she is huffing and puffing from the walk down the street. The funniest part is that Mike doesn't object to being thought of as ignorant. He's more upset that Quarrel thought that he was a bad friend. Quarrel reminds him of the time he thought that she was being mean to his friends. Ah, yes. The panty-droppers incident. We see a flashback to said incident, and it's really amazing how much Quarrel has changed in attitude, at least. She used to be all smirky and bitchy, and she doesn't seem to be that way as much anymore. Maybe it's all for show, but the juxtaposition of Quarrel and Coral is striking.

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Real World

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