Speaking of Neil, he's going to miss the house, according to an interview. While we watch an old clip of Neil showing Kat around Oxford (or some other English University, for all we know), Neil voice-overs that he's going back to school because he "misses the intellectual rigors of hard work and study." Yeah, like Mr. and Mrs. Forrester didn't threaten to pull the financial plug on his music career unless he was working toward a degree. Intellectual rigors, my ass! You just don't want to temp anymore, Neil. Lord, is this clip of Neil and Kat old. I can tell because -- ashamed as I am to admit I notice -- Kat was really thin when they first got to London.
The next morning -- or least what they're pretending is the next morning in this fake narrative -- is Kat's birthday. They play that Björk song, "It's Oh So Quiet" which should probably be the unofficial theme song of the London season of The Real World. According to the expository morning chatter courtesy of Jay and Mike, Kat will be twenty. Kat voice-overs that she thought she'd just have a low-key birthday, "but then things just started happening." I guess living in the Attention Deficit Manor for four and half months has skewed Kat's conception of what it means when something "happens," because the only thing that "happens" is that Neil buys her a joke-shop present. It's one of those slimy plastic hands that "creeps" down when you throw it up against a wall. It certainly keeps Sharon amused; she squeals like a pig in shit for hours. Then Lars, Jay, Mike, and Neil try to write a limerick. But the highlight of the day, according to Kat, comes when the boys come home from a shopping expedition with a present for Kat. It's one of those dresses that you always see being sold for $15 by aging hippies in the student center of a small liberal arts college, and everyone who buys one hopes that, if worn over an undershirt, the poor craftsmanship and cheap material will read on the street as disheveled hipster charm, but it rarely does. Kat loves her cheap dress. She literally cries tears of joy as she hugs the boys thank you and reads her limerick out loud. Wait until she gets back to the states and finds that Tori Spelling wears the same dress practically every week on the college episodes of 90210. Jay explains that Kat was the only person in the house who had a birthday while they were there. Not that anyone watching didn't do some aging of their own, if you catch my drift. The gang, including Kat's stupid ambivalent new boyfriend, go off to the pub, and more voice-overs attest to how happy she was that day. Sharon leads the group in a toast, and someone who isn't Lou Reed sings a lousy cover of Perfect Day. Kat explains her future with her new ambivalent boyfriend -- there is no future. But they might stay in touch when she goes back to the USA. She thinks.