Real World
Cheerio, Love!

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Gustave: C- | Grade It Now!
Cheerio, Love!

"Happy Sad" plays by Pizzicato Five as the gang get ready for the so called "Last Supper." Sharon has sent out invitations and everything -- as if she doesn't already live with her guests in the first place. Someone, I don't know who, forces the boys to dress up formally. Neil wears a tux, and Jay tries to pass with one of those waistcoat and t-shirt combinations that everyone wore to small-town gay bars in the early '90s. Hey, do you think Sharon will burn something so that she can scream helplessly and sleaze extra attention out of the situation? Ooops! There goes the garlic bread! Everyone finally sits down, and Lars gives a cryptic toast about "learning" things in the last five months. They all laugh knowingly and raise their glasses. Then someone locates a bottle of Ranch Dressing for Mike, and he pours it on his salad. "I'm glad to see you have something to squirt," says Neil as Sharon babbles on incoherently that her lasagna is the worst thing she's ever made. It starts to become apparent to the gang that the sets and props aren't needed anymore, so they start bending the silverware for a laugh as some song from the Clueless soundtrack plays. Then Jacinda announces in an interview that they didn't have any cutlery left, so they decided to eat dessert without their hands. What a laugh riot. Not. They all put their faces into their dessert dishes and eat their dessert. Meanwhile, Mike tries to make a funny by shoving everyone's faces further into their desserts. It becomes a mad scene. Or at least what passes for a mad scene in the London season of The Real World. Lars watches the food fight by himself from the fireplace. Neil takes off his shirt to reveal his stupid piercings yet again. Sharon gasps over the fact that she stained her sweater, and Jacinda almost ruins one of her "gowns." Apparently some poor MTV production assistant is going to clean up after the food fight, because no one seems concerned that Legend and the new cat are just chomping down on the scraps.

And now it's time for a little of the aforementioned Sarah McLachlan as the gang packs up and gets ready to say goodbye. Chrys makes a rare appearance, helping Neil to move out. Everyone else puts their things into boxes. Sharon does a little comedy by dropping a box full of fragile glass things. Lars asks Jeannette over the phone if she's "prepared" for something or other. She's not. Jay and Lars hug goodbye, and Jay rides away in a cab. Mike and Neil make smart remarks to each other about the "real" experiences they've been had together, and Mike tells Neil to have some McDonalds to remember him by. Jacinda photographs the fish tank. Neil says he'll miss "taking the piss" out of Mike. That plus the "squirt" comment lead to believe that something was going on between Neil and Mike that I really don't want to know about. Jay tells a cab driver about his experiences. The cab driver doesn't care. Jacinda, Kat, Sharon, and Legend get into a limo and drive to the airport. Kat is wearing another Tori Spelling ensemble -- her hat has a sunflower on it just like the one Donna Martin used to wear when she was the temporary DJ of West Beverly. "They were nice lads as lads go," says Sharon, obviously thinking she's a supporting player in a BBC adaptation of a Jane Austen novel. "We could have done a lot worse." Mike and Lars take their own cab and commiserate that they're going to miss the house. Jacinda checks Legend in at the airport. The three girls tearfully hug goodbye at the gate, and then Kat and Jacinda catch their plane. Kat explains in a confessional that she didn't have long to say goodbye, but "maybe goodbyes shouldn't be very long." We see flashbacks of the gang having good times together while Kat voice-overs some meaningless drivel about never really saying goodbye to the people you care about. Lars and Sharon sing. Jay does his play. Neil sticks his mutilated tongue out for a doctor. Jacinda flies. Legend poops in the house. The entire gang watches Mike race. Yet again, we see that shot of Lars from the first episode, when he toasts the gang and hopes they'll all be "friends forever." A double decker bus cruises forlornly past a darkened Attention Deficit Manor...and I'll bet you anything that the MTV production assistants are still cleaning it up.

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Real World




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