Real World
City Mouse vs. Country Mouse

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City Mouse vs. Country Mouse

In the kitchen, David, Aaron and Dom are making spaghetti. As Beth enters the room, David starts making the "reeeeeeek. Reeeeeeeek" noise that the soundtrack makes in Psycho when Norman is stabbing Janet Leigh in the shower. Dom warns Beth not to talk to him, or he'll "smother [her] in spaghetti." Beth coyly tries to smoothly things over, and in an interview says that she thinks Dom ought to "relax. Nobody killed your mother." She rolls her eyes and chortles girlishly. Back in the kitchen, Dom tells Beth that he thinks it was rude and inconsiderate of her to invite them all to a party where none of them were welcome. Beth laughs, and tosses her hair coyly. Watching this, I've realized that Beth thinks she's one of those pretty girls who can get out of any jam by tossing her hair and batting her eyelashes and acting all coy, like she's Jessica Wakefield or something. Memo to Beth: You're not pretty enough to get away with that. Not by a long shot. Dom tells Beth that if she ever pulls a stunt like that again, he'll kill her. Everyone else looks vaguely uncomfortable. Aaron, again, pulls his Adidas cap lower on his head. "Let's just chill," he says.

David comments that all the white people at the party were looking at him like he stole something. Jon passive-aggressively asks what he "stole." David tells Jon to "lighten up, loosen up those boots and y'all have a good fucking time, because I have had it with you." Much nervous laughter from the rest of the assembled roommates. Jon tells David, lightly, to "move out." With that rapier-sharp wit, David replies, "You fucking move out." Ah, how prophetic this all is in light of future episodes. In an interview, Jon says that David is hard to live with. Oh, my God, really? Because I was still unclear on that particular concept.

Okay, so this is the part where we hear about David's tragic childhood, and why it led to his taking such exemplary care of his clothing today. Yes, that's right. Although this sad tale is accompanied by shots of David being unable to operate an iron, making it look as though he has really never devoted much time to sartorial upkeep, he tells us that his family was poor, and that his mother used to have to dumpster dive to get clothing for him, and now that he can have nice things, he likes to take good care of them. My only comment is that maybe he ought instead to tell stories on national television not about how his mother embarrassed him by digging in other people's trash to put clothes on his back, but, perhaps, instead, about how she somehow managed to raise him with dignity despite the confines of poverty, and how he hopes to be a credit to her remarkable efforts to keep him clothed and fed, and loved. But that would be classy. And this is The Real World. And The Real World is like school on Sunday.

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Real World




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