Real World
City Mouse vs. Country Mouse

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City Mouse vs. Country Mouse

Jon calls his Dad, who is angry that Jon called while "Garth is singing the National Anthem." Hee, for the third time. Irene tells us that Jon makes her laugh, and that she likes and respects him. In her interview, her hair is like...there are no words. Really. It's like...long. Really long. And really frizzy. And there' much of it. It's...everywhere. It's....unspeakable. It makes my head hurt.

Irene is cleaning her gun on her bed, while Jon watches. He fiddles with her flashlight. He goofs with her handcuffs. He plays with her holster. That sounds dirty, but I mean it literally. He breaks it, and she's mildly annoyed. I'd just like to say that having a loaded gun in that household is a dangerous, dangerous thing. I truly cannot believe that no one was shot.

Irene tells us that she's having a hard time living without Tim, her fiancé, but that she goes into the confessional booth and cries it out. In the confessional, Irene weeps that she'll be okay, and that being away from Tim will make marrying him that much more exciting. This is followed by what looks like an sensual massage instructional video, as some Sade-esque tune chortles in the background, and Irene rubs oil all over a shirtless Tim. I wish to God I was making that up. Sadly, I am not.

On the roof, Beth and Dom talk about Dom's freelancing gigs; he sold two articles to Daily Variety and is stoked. Beth, on the other hand, spent $300 on food at the mall that day. She Jessica Wakefields a laugh and a hair toss. In the confessional, Dom says that he thinks they may all get along after all.

Jon sits on his bed and plays his gee-tar, while David irons. David jokes that the song Jon is singing is "about masturbation." In the doorway, Aaron and Dom, in the time-honored fashion of boys everywhere, burst into guffaws at the word "masturbation." Jon wonders if there isn't something better to talk about than sin. David explains that he likes to push people's buttons. Really? Who knew? In the bedroom, Jon is stunned that David doesn't know the words to "Friends in Low Places," and truthfully, so am I. I thought everyone knew that song. Anyhow, David and Jon chat for a bit about Dolly Parton, and a song of hers about a dog that died, which both of them love. David quips that he's Jon's "cultural brother." See? Music: bringing roommates together.

In an interview, David explains that his relationship with Jon is such that they will be getting along fine, and then "bing! Something happens." Something indeed, because this statement is followed by the stupidest argument in Real World history, wherein Jon and David argue about cleaning up some spilled Styrofoam packing materials. Yes, you read that correctly. Styrofoam peanuts: tearing roommates apart. The best part of the argument is when Aaron, in his Lambda Chi Dad's Day T-shirt, has to jump in and prevent David from physically attacking Jon over the Styrofoam peanuts. No, I take that back. The best part is when David screams, "You're the only motherfucker that has Styrofoam!" Jon just stares at him. Aaron, predictably, tells David to chill, dude. David starts squealing like a girl. Later, in an interview, Jon tells us he was proud of how calmly he handled David during the Great Styrofoam War of 1993. Yeah, put that on your résumé, country boy.

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Real World




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